USA Today has chosen their 2006 All-USA High School Academic First Team, a ponderous name for 20 kids who have WAY too many activities in their young lives, including–we kid you not–inventing a patent-pending wearable breast exam training apparatus using diaper gel, cashews and a bikini. Math problem: Yale got 27% of those who didn’t go to Harvard.

In other, even more random news, a silver-haired gentleman in a pinstripe suit rolled into a Bwog correspondent’s office on a Segway with five Japanese businessmen in tow. Bwog wants one. And some businessmen, too.