Oct

4

Personals — Steamin’ Hartley 8 First-year Edition

Written by

Ah, Wednesday! The hump of the week. Bwog Personals is here to facilitate. If either of these two strikes your fancy, email [email protected] and let us know. If it’s a match, we’ll spring $5 for a date. Coffee, pastries at Café 212—it’s your choice, and a probably guaranteed good time! And remember: if you or anyone you know would like to be a personal, let us know. We’re forever accepting nominations.

Girl for friendship
Guy for Guy
 
emi
 
jacob





Name: Emi

School: CC

Year: freshman

Major: TBA

Hometown: Wayne, NJ

Top three songs according to iTunes’ play count:

Whisper in My Ear and Tell Me You Hate Me– Prefuse 73

8 Million Stories– A Tribe Called Quest

You Turned the Tables On Me– Billie Holiday

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

I don’t know, something not from John Jay.  It sounds dry there, so I’d probably want 3 juicy pears.

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

red, silky long johns

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

on a secluded bench on campus, sleeping with The Iliad



Nightmare date in three words or less:


bad soft rock

So, what are you doing after college?

taking a nap

When I first came to Columbia, I thought….

I am so glad to get off this bike.

TCBY or Tasti D-Lite?

TCBY– I just found out what it stands for.

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?

Invisibility– free concerts, quick exits from awkward social situations, being a great spy-detective

Unusual talents?

I have an astounding array of fun facial expressions.

MySpace or Facebook?

I hate MySpace (but I still have one)

Emi! Let’s be friends!

Name: Jacob

School: CC

Year: 2010

Major: No idea…something useless

Hometown: Berkeley, CA

Top three songs according to iTunes’ play count:

Free Falling by Tom Petty

Crooked Teeth by Death Cab

Hate It or Love It by the Game

You’re trapped on a desert island with three foods—what are they?

Pistachios

Chocolate Chips

Hummus

Describe your favorite pair of underwear.

I’m not going to lie: my plain white boxer-briefs.

It’s 2 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Where can you be found?

Wandering around my floor desperately loooking for excuses not to do my LitHum reading. You can find me doing that pretty much any time day or night.



Nightmare date in three words or less:


Obnoxious Yankees fan

So, what are you doing after college?

Whoring myself out on the corner to pay off my loans…But seriously, if you can figure that out, please tell my mother.

When I first came to Columbia, I thought….

Why does it say “The Library of Columbia University” on a building that’s not the library?

TCBY or Tasti D-Lite?

I’ve never had TCBY, so I guess I’ll go with Tasti-D, even though it has the consistency of toxic sludge.

Flight, invisibility, or X-Ray vision?

I’ll go with flight because it beats sitting in coach and I think X-ray vision would become a burden at a certain point.

Unusual talents?

Using west coast slang that none of you have heard of (like hyphy, lightweight, cutty and go dumb).

MySpace or Facebook?

Facebook, even with the news feed.

Jacob! You’re the one for me!

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12 Comments

  1. this is cool  

    I like that bwog is getting gay personals now. I also like that bwog is entering into the realm of friendship. Columbia students need a little of that, too.

  2. does  

    she want a friend or a friend with benefits?
    And, I have absolutely nothing about the guy for guy guy, but Death Cab? COME THE FUCK ON.
    Also, has bwog ever featured someone without an iTunes account? You know, someone I might actually CONSIDER dating?

  3. wow  

    you are just so cool #2. yeah itunes sucks - i hate easy-to-use products especially when they're popular.

  4. jewbis  

    Too many gay personals...they should not exceed ten percent of the personals, and I take this number from the most liberal possible estimate of percentage of gays in the population.

    Also, more black people, please. It is your responsibility to find black people to be in the personals, not the other way around.

    Also, I would like to see some Trisexual (ie Try-Anything-Sexual) personals.

    Love,
    Jewbis

  5. jewbis  

    Too many gay personals...they should not exceed ten percent of the personals, and I take this number from the most liberal possible estimate of percentage of gays in the population.

    Also, more black people, please. It is your responsibility to find black people to be in the personals, not the other way around.

    Also, I would like to see some Trisexual (ie Try-Anything-Sexual) personals.

    Love,
    Jewbis

  6. Clarification:  

    It's not just "West Coast" slang, it's specifically "Bay Area" slang. Southern California folk don't know what the heck those words are, either.

  7. Sarah  

    Even people from the east coast suburbs know what it means to "go dumb" and are well versed in the "hyphy" movement

  8. Anonymous  

    Actually, the kids I worked with at the Harlem YMCA knew "Tell Me When To Go," which I found absolutely bizarre.

    However, none of them could properly "go dumb," which leads me to believe that only the Bay Area kids can really do it.

  9. hmm...  

    in response to number 4, i also believe that the number of gay personals may be too many, but this probably reflects the population of people who want to be featured.

    if you want the personals to reflect the population, i think it should reflect the columbia population (not the world's), and i would suggest that columbia's population, including considering sexual orientation, does not reflect the world's. so, the reasoning behind your advice is pretty bad.

    also, it's not bwog's job to find token black people. personals are voluntary. this isn't conscription.

    • John Klopfer  

      Actually, this week, we just asked a couple of interesting kids on our floor if they would do it. I don't think any of us knew Jacob was gay. So, they weren't self-selected, and they weren't selected for their interest in friendship or men.

      Otherwise I agree with you. CU is not representative of the population at large. And we tend to take people who either are known to us or contact us directly.

      As to tokenism, I couldn't agree more. But if people are going to bitch about minority underrepresentation, we've featured Asians, Hispanics, ethnic Jews, Indians, and people of coloured hair; all without any encouragement or affirmative action.

    • mike  

      actually

      1) i wasn't being serious. i was trying to make a reference to the now-forgotten demand (not by me) a week ago that bwog include more gay people. it was a bad joke.

      2)Tri-sexual is not a valid sexual orientation. Sorry, mom.

      3) My name is not actually Jewbis

      Love,
      Mike

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