Mar

8

A Modest Proposal

Written by

We couldn’t quite believe it when we got an e-mail from Robert Maschio, CC ’88, who plays Todd on Scrubs. But we e-mailed back, and he seems to really actually honest-to-god want to speak on Class Day. In his own words:

sdf“Hey Gang,

This is Robert Maschio, the actor who plays High-Five Todd on the TV show SCRUBS. As I am also a graduate of Columbia University (88) and I just want to say, if it doesn’t work out with Matthew Fox, I would be more than willing to fly in, show up and give a great commencement speech…well, it wouldn’t be a speech so much as a series of hi-fives to all graduates and a series of sexual inappropriate comments (aimed mostly at the administration). Of course I’d be wearing my trademark “Banana Hammock” the whole time…for the ladies, so…just something to consider and enjoy…good luck and let me know,

robert maschio

class of 1988

roar lion roar”

Hey, it’s just a suggestion.

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53 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    There is already a coalition of people rooting for Robert "The Todd" Maschio for CC Class Day '08. To put it in the words of one of my friends: "Commencement five."

  2. scrubsfan

    i'll make YOUR lion roar

    I vote a wholehearted YEA for Robert Maschio Class Day '08

  3. another 08  

    all for this dude. ok, so i'm opposed to fox and he's another random semi-celeb, but it still makes a huge difference if he's drafted by students and volunteers to make sexually inappropriate remarks about the administration, rather than being picked by quigley...

  4. that's it  

    I want him. Here. Now.

  5. It's Too Late

    We already invited Fox. If you don't like it, don't clap at the end of his speech. I'm sure he'll be trying really hard to prove all the doubters wrong.

  6. .....  

    MATT SANCHEZ WAS A PORN STAR!!! and other news sources are reporting on it! fucking bwog.

  7. Scrubs rules!  

    Robert Maschio > EVERYTHING EVER

    Cute, hilarious, an Ivy leaguer able to play rock dumb...Maschio in 08. Make it happen, Columbia. To hell with all the tv actor haters, the rest of us unpretentious, no-ass-stick-having people will appreciate them fully.

  8. omgomgomgomgom

    PLEASE, GOD, LET THE TOD SPEAK AT CLASS DAY!

  9. can we  

    have both? TV doctors WHOOO

    • what if  

      Fox gives his speech, and then The Todd and Dr. Cox can periodically interrupt Fo, er, Nancy, and slap her ass. Just, please God, no sappy moralizing from Zach Braff.

      I'm feeling shallow, I need to go listen to Frou Frou.

  10. oh man  

    the todd just jumped 20 points in my book. that's great. what a guy!

  11. princeton tiger

    i decided to withdraw from columbia college upon hearing the news of matthew fox. no way my class day will be soiled by some c-list celebrity.

    suck it, lions.

  12. ah-ha!

    uh... harlem?

    suck it, lion.

  13. Fox Is the Man  

    so you guys are for letting a guy from scrubs but not someone from one of the hottest shows? i hate you hipster wanna be intellectual wack offs

  14. According  

    to the Internet, Columbia College is 49% white and SEAS is 35% white.


    Princeton is 62% white, the highest in the Ivies.

  15. a modest proposal  

    In which I propose that this be the last Columbia publication to title one of its writings "A Modest Proposal"

  16. but for 08  

    jake gyllenhal for 08!

  17. cu alum

    oh man, if the todd spoke at my graduation instead of mccain there would have been something good to come out of the cc '06 class day from hell

  18. ULTIMATELY:

    HARLEM = PART OF NEW YORK CITY

    NEW YORK CITY = BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.

  19. p is for pathetic  

    why are you princeton kids even on this site (repeatedly)?

  20. more stupidity!

    Are you elitist douchebags aware of how hypocritical it is for you to bash a celebrity who's clearly more well-known than The Fucking Todd from Scrubs, then welcome a side character from a lesser-known television show as your class speaker?

    Holy shit! Could it be that you're just looking for something to bitch about? Could that possibly be it?

    • wait up  

      did you read the quotes bwog posted from fox? he seems like a douchebag. did you read this post and consider that in contrast the todd is an infinitely cooler guy? plus i've never seen lost and on the other hand am insanely addicted to scrubs. and since scrubs is enjoying consistent popularity into its 6th season while lost is losing viewers in the second, i think its safe to say lost is definitely a flavor of the month.

    • eyeroll  

      i guess you've never considered that maybe the people bashing matthew fox are not the same people welcoming the todd. which would make your "hypocritical" point moot. but i guess you were too busy making sweeping generalizations and assumptions about all of us elitist douchebags to realize the stupidity of your own argument! :)

    • Anonymous

      It's totally different. I honestly just think the Matthew Fox debate is funny, but I can see why people don't want him as their speaker- people seem to think he's lucked into a few roles and isn't particularly gifted, having skated by on good looks. After seeing him on SNL I'm inclined to agree. On the other hand, Robert Maschio plays a side character with incredible gusto and is able to pull off one liners that help carry the show. Moreover, as a comedian, Rob would undoubtedly be more entertaining- just read the bio on his website. And, in his spare time, Rob bikes to raise money for MS. At the very least, Rob would be more down to Earth than Fox.

  21. captain obvious

    Sorry. I guess I kind of just assumed that because the AUTHOR of this blog is the one making the call for The Todd to be crowned class speaker, while many moons ago the AUTHOR of the blog was bitching because a television personality is going to be speaking at your graduation.

    :)

    • some captain  

      Bwog does not have one single author. It is run by several students and postings are made by different daily editors (and others) throughout the week.

    • hey genius  

      maybe before you decide to bash a blog or a group of students, you should do some quick background research and get your facts straight to prevent yourself from looking like a complete moron. if you'd bothered to look a little more closely, you'd see that bwog is clearly written by multiple students. there is no one author (or AUTHOR as you might say). everyone at columbia knows this, which is why it's so obvious when clueless non-columbia people come here acting all high and mighty and reprimanding us for supposed hypocritical actions, and come off looking like massive idiots instead.

      :D

  22. ADMIRAL OBVIOUS  

    CAPTAIN OBVIOUS YOU ARE FIRED FROM THE OBVIOUS NAVY FOR YOUR ERRONEOUS STATMENT

  23. COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF  

    from the desk of the COMMANDER IN CHIEF OBVIOUS:
    that's it, you all made me do this. no more columbia alumni as class day speakers.

  24. YOU BITCHES

    I CREATED THE OBVIOUS NAVY, YOU FUCKS. YOU CANNOT FIRE ME. I HAVE OBVIOUS EXECUTIVE POWER OVER ALL OF YOU AND ALL OF YOUR CLASS DAY SPEAKERS. YOU STILL ALL OBVIOUSLY SUCK BUT ARE APPARENTLY ALSO FUNNY OCCASIONALLY. CAPS LOCK IS FUN.

  25. Wow  

    We're debating between Matthew Fox and Rob Maschio? Thats like asking whether you'd rather fellate Matt Sanchez or get reamed in the ass by Felipe Tarud...

  26. oh man

    This would've been AWESOME. *sigh*

    I have a QUESTION: how the fuck did none of us know that either of these guys go to Columbia until recently?

  27. seriously

    can we have the College ask Fox to come up with a schedule conflict and get THE TODD instead? I'd remember that graduation forever.

  28. BWOG

    please interview Maschio? TY.

  29. hey hey genius

    Haha, please. I'll post whatever the fuck I want on your idiotic blog -- it doesn't change the fact that the bulk of people posting here are pretentious shitheads. Sorry! Have a nice day!

    :D

    • look out!  

      oh, crap guys. it looks like some anonymous internet user isn't afraid to pass uninformed judgments on us! quick, run and hide!

    • shrug  

      hey, that's your choice. i was just trying to do you a favor by reminding you to do some basic fact-checking before making your idiocy public. but go right ahead and keep posting ignorant comments--it doesn't change the fact that you're a shithead talking out of your ass, wasting your time on a school and an issue that has nothing to do with you.

      get well soon!

      :D

  30. frumph  

    Hey guys...this whole fiasco compelled me to watch the first three episodes of Lost...and Fox is not half bad. I like his character too, noble, conscientious doctor that quietly takes the lead and brings the survivors together, patiently saving whoever he can, calming people down, etc. Lost's popularity is no joke and he plays a good guy really well; he doesn't seem as woefully inadequate and shitty as the uproar made it seem (I, at least, had imagined a poorly-acted bit part where he's just the jerky hot dude...when here he's essentially the lead, the series even starts from his point of view). For the students with tv/acting aspirations this is a bonus. I kind of feel even more bad for him now. :/

  31. dragline

    matthew fox would be an incredibly boring speaker.

    while we all like jack, fox has little personality and is now a smug celebrity who lucked into his big fancy lost role.

    maschio on the other hand is a genuinely nice guy, hilarious and much more interesting.

    dont pick fox just because his show is more popular

  32. percival

    "High-Five Todd"? that's not The Todd's name. I call shenanigans!

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