In the first Freshmen Profile, Tania Harsono was giving a chance at redemption. This time around, Bwog staffer Lucy Tang pokes and prods at Dan Cho’s insecurities.

RA RA SHISBOOM BAH

Here’s Dan Cho

Friend or Foe? 

Hometown: The twilight city that’s gonna set my soul on fire. (For non-Elvis or Dead Kennedy fans, that’s Las Vegas, NV)

Prospective Major: I’m not a big fan of the whole “making money” thing, so probably English or Film Studies. You never know though.

Where are you looking to begin the first of the best four years of your life?

On an isolated tropical beach, surrounded by beautiful women, and enjoying the soft symphony of gently rolling waves. I’ll be spending my freshman year of college at Carman though.

How long do you think it’ll take you to lose your…

Dignity? I lost it during my first tour in Nam.

Moral compass? I lost it during my second tour in Nam.

Sanity? Third tour.

Virginity? I can’t really think of a facetious answer to this, so I’ll leave it as “no comment.”

While 2010 went nuts with the myspace, 2011 is the first official class to actually meet each other over the internet. Do you think you’re missing out on part of the college experience?

I guess this will expose me as the naïve incoming freshman with only a cursory awareness of the long-standing and rich traditions of the fine institution he has been allowed to attend that I am, but exactly what “college experience” is the Internet precluding? We’re still going to have to actually interact with each other face-to-face when the time comes. The only thing Facebook is allowing me is the chance to avoid having to embarrassingly ask someone their name after hanging out with them for two weeks. I welcome this brave new world of technology if it prevents the major faux-pas (I’ve never taken French, so I have no idea what the plural of faux pas really is) that hamstrung many of my potential relationships in the past.

What are you doing with your last pre-college summer?

Working a menial job for a few bucks over minimum wage, interspersed with the occasional “chilling out with my homies.” No exciting globetrotting adventures in philanthropy or mind-expanding intellectual pursuits here.

Columbia students are often typecast as cynical, elitist, and bitter (haven’t you read half the comments on Bwog?). What is the most cynical/elitist/bitter thought you’ve ever had?

An easier question would be what is the least cynical/elitist/bitter thought I’ve ever had. The answer to that question would’ve been an observation on a funny comment my friend made about the Seahawks-Broncos game back in 2005.

Also, I am responsible for a quarter of the crappy comments on Bwog.

I lived in Carman last year, I’ve seen used tampons, sparkly tube tops, condoms, beer cans, and drunk kids left in the elevator. Still excited for the so-called “party” dorm?

I live in Las Vegas. While those things aren’t really parts of my daily routine, they’re not completely foreign sights for me either. I’ll get over it.

What did you lie about on your application?

Seriously for once, I didn’t really think I’d get in so there was little to no self-aggrandizement in my application. I just wrote as honestly as I could about myself, my accomplishments, and my ambitions, and something about that appealed to the admission office. I guess there was a shortage of middle-class second generation Asian-Americans with decent grades, test scores, and extracurricular activities at Columbia or something.

Is this irony a defense mechanism against any potential hateful comments?

Wow, you don’t pull any punches. Alright, you caught me. This macho, sarcastic tough guy bullcrap is just an act I put on to hide my deep-set fear that someone I don’t know might type something mean about me on the Internet. God, I feel sick just thinking about it.

One last question, willing to fess up to any “crappy comments on Bwog”?

In all likelihood, I’m probably the first comment for this interview. Even if it’s an ad hominem attack on myself.