Oct

26

6 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Goal: To Gain Experience as a Mainstream Member of the Liberal Media.

    Education: Hollywood Richjewman Commie High School
    University of Havana North Campus

    Experience: I enjoy manipulating public opinion for a modest amount of money.
    I perversely hate everything I'm supposed to love.
    I worship Satan.
    I question things that I know are unquestionable.
    I have seen no less than three pornographic films and touched myself once without even feeling bad about it.
    I drink the blood of Christian babies.
    I want to steal everyone's money and light it on fire.
    I want to steal everyone's fire and divide it equally, regardless of how much sweat dripped down an individual's brow as he or she attempted to start a fire.
    I didn't start the fire.
    It was always burning since the world's been turning.
    I want to give aborted fetuses birth control pills, and failing that, to give them abortions.

    As you can see I am dedicated to the red herring and would make a fine addition to your lie-machine

    • omg  

      There are so many comments to be made about this that I don't know where to start. I'll just address one line from above and leave the rest for others to enjoy ridiculing.
      You feel bad touching yourself? Seriously? Fuck once, I never feel bad when I touch myself and I don't think many folks do...right or left, christian or not, fucking retarded (like you) or not, etc.
      Though, props for working in billy joel, that's nice.

      • agreed  

        "I want to steal everyone's fire and divide it equally, regardless of how much sweat dripped down an individual's brow as he or she attempted to start a fire."

        Is my favorite, as any six year old will tell you that you can SHARE a fire without losing its individual value. What kind of douche would even conceive of STEALING fire (Greek titan's aside)?

    • the office  

      "I didn't start the fire."
      I know who did!!!

      RYAN STARTED THE FIRE
      IT'S ALWAYS BEEN BURNING
      SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNING!

  2. dwight  

    you ignorant slut

  3. Kevin  

    Not so fast, Fire Guy.

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