44 CommentsWelcome to yet another issue of Bwog Personals. This time we are advertising the most available 2009 Class Council candidates, so be prepared for some sexy electoral action. This post is D, for explicit manipulation of Democracy. Bwog is providing $10 for a date and as always, nominate your friends (or yourself) for a personal by emailing bwgossip@columbia.edu.
GUY FOR COMPLETE POWER
Name: Colin Patrick Drummond
Year: 2009
School: CC
Major: Anthropology/Environmental Science
Hometown: Golden Valley, MN
Best Book You’ve Read for Class: A Clockwork Orange
Worst Book You’ve Read for Class: If it was bad I stopped reading it.
Most shameful thing you’ve ever done to procrastinate: GoCrossCampus
Beverage of choice: LEMONade!
What are your most played songs on iTunes?
“Gimme Shelter,” Rolling Stones
“Scotland the Brave,” US Air Force Reserve Pipe Band
“Idioteque,” Radiohead
What do you wish were your most played songs on iTunes?
“The Kiss (The Last of the Mohicans),” Trevor Jones
“Main Theme (True Romance),” Hans Zimmer
“Sparkplug Minuet (The Royal Tenenbaums),” Mark Mothersbaugh
Favorite Morningside Heights Meal: Buffalo Blue. Unless my Gold Card is full. Then it’s a Mona Lisa with curly fries.
The title of your memoir: Nonsense -or- A Heffalump of Jabberwock
Dream date 5 words or fewer: See final question
Thing you’re looking forward to most this year: A haircut
Thing you’re looking forward to least this year: M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening
If you could service any one politician, living or dead, in a public bathroom, who would it be? Princess Leia
GUY FOR WORLD DOMINATION
Name: Mark Anthony Johnson
Year: 2009
School: CC
Major: Political Science
Hometown: Virginia Beach, Va
Best Book You’ve Read for Class: The Iliad
Worst Book You’ve Read for Class: Principles of Economics (Bernanke)
Most shameful thing you’ve ever done to procrastinate: Laundry
Beverage of choice: Whiskey Sour
What are your most played songs on iTunes? “My Girl Is Calling Me (A Liar)” Chromeo
What do you wish were your most played songs on iTunes? “Satisfaction” The Rolling Stones
Favorite Morningside Heights Meal: Chicken Finger Combo from Toms (After a night of drinking)
The title of your memoir: The Life and Times of Mark Johnson
Dream date 5 words or fewer: Dinner, Party, Vodka, Singing, Tom’s
Thing you’re looking forward to most this year: Graduation, Class Speaker, Senior Events
Thing you’re looking forward to least this year: Finding a Job.
If you could service any one politician, living or dead, in a public bathroom, who would it be? His Holiness, The Dalai Lama
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44 Comments
@are you kidding?? colin looks like a hobbit
@colin is HILARIOUS COLIN!!! colin will make the best speech (maybe one of the best *comedic* speeches anyone in cc09) … and isn’t that what we’re really voting for guys?
@DHI Truth. Mark Johnson himself says he is most looking forward to “class speaker.” He should vote for Colin if he wants to hear a good one.
@no man, i know eli, it’s not him either. short kid. he’s short. ’09.
@smitten i wanna have a true romance with colin… complete with coke, whores, and running from the law
ps lovedlovedloved last of the mohicans!!
@mlli mark johnson preys on anything female that has small eyes aka AsIAN…
@no no not tight pants. he wears 40s hats and an overcoat and squarish thick rimmed glasses. wait, maybe they’re circular glasses. anyways, smokes a pipe, dresses all funny like.
@yeah I think that’s Eli Goldfarb
@Daniel Day-Lewis Colin Drummond, I want my accent back!
@Econ Worst book read…Bernanke…principles of economics…NOT SURPRISED!
@that guy Are you talking about the guy with tight pants who chain smokes outside butler and wheres a fedora? and who dresses like its the 40s?
@blue Probably. He’s also very thin.
@2012 so the guy on the left is really cute. and seems much smarter than the other dude. he should win!
@purple I think I’ve seen that freak. He always dresses like its 1940, and he works for the Washington Post. I may have the wrong guy, but the face is familiar, as is the suit jacket.
@no no you’re thinking of the dude with the pipe and the glasses. different guy.
@and if... they are in SEAS pick one.
@Yes... single.
@GAG the Dalai Lama, are you kidding me Mark?!?!
@oh wait.. sorry… I just remembered that “servicing someone in the bathroom” does not necessarily mean the dirty way…..sorry
@... i’m going with mark–it’ll be an easy date because he’ll do all the talking.
@Robert Burns Colin is a pussy, a very pretty pussy…
@umm... oh, dear.
@Anonymous How can you be sane and kind? Is that like, someone with OCD or something? Most insane people, whatever their ailment, are not very nice.
@!!! what the fuck are you talking about?
@MIP The saying should actually be, “sane, attractive, and single. Pick two.”
@And Mark has a creepy case of the yellow fever.
@BRO BROOOO! MARK! BROOOHAMMMM!
@what class reads clockwork orange?
@emm colin is kind of hot.
@cba321 VOTE LE:MON PARTY!!
http://www.myohnine.com
@speaking as... Speaking as someone who’s serviced both Princess Leia and the Dalai Lama, let me be the first to say that it’s now very hard for me to speak.
@DHI Mark Johnson has “Mark Anthony” in his name, but it’s spelled wrong, and “Patrick Drummond” was the sound editor on the 2005 Irish movie Boy Eats Girl:
“A boy declares his love for his girlfriend, only to die the same night. He is brought back to life by his mother as a flesh-craving zombie, who sires more teen undead while trying to control his, er, appetite for his beloved.”
So what I’m saying is you should choose Colin because he can make zombie love sounds, and that’s what girls want these days.
@a fan Colin not attractive? Pssh. Go to hell.
@Have you heard the saying about Columbia men?
Sane, Attractive, Kind.
(Pick two.)
@hey i heard that same saying about columbia women!!
@yeah except pick one
@hey mark “songs” is plural
also, we get it… you like drinking and tom’s.
@ehhh.... nevermind. just looked #2 up on facebook.
not attractive either.
@ehhh,... 1. personality, not attractive
2. no personality, attractive
Columbia men.
@class council no offense to these cute boys, but class council-themed-makeout is lamebot. get some edgy kids.
@Anonymous Are… are they both straight?
@AYAAY RON LOVES TWIZZLERS1
@let me be first to predict that this comment section becomes petty and moronic
@dddm awww Colin is so nice. and cute.
damn, bwog. you make this all so embarrasing.