Oct

9

A Dark Night of the Soul

Written by


Bwog Editor Juli Weiner spent the night in the land of Brobdingnag. Names and details have been omitted to protect the innocent.

Last night, twenty of the largest people Bwog has ever seen stood assembled in suits outside Butler. Passersby stopped to stare at the group, as it is not often persons of this width or height are seen in one place, outside the context of athletics that is. The boys were instructed to yell that they were pledging the “best frat,” PKA. But they weren’t pledging PKA, this was a Test of Their Commitment.

Next, a similarly large person instructed the group that they then must collectively ask five girls for their phone numbers. It was at that moment that twenty of these man-giants looked upon your Bwog editor, who was the closest girl at the moment. We politely declined, and the group headed toward Lerner, toward the womenfolk.

During the walk, some proffered ideas about how to accomplish this feat. “Why don’t we just write down our own phone numbers?” suggested one. But soon enough, the roving band of business casual demigods found five numbers.

Their master told the men that they must lunge to Amsterdam, which only ended up being 114th street, but still! Lunge they did. Spirited lunges too–many raised their arms up in the air mid-step.

They reached the gate at 114th. Their next mission was to shout a chant during their walk to Amsterdam. They didn’t have to lunge, just repeat: “I don’t know what I’ve been told/Eskimo pussy’s mighty cold.” Spirits were never so high as when the men sang this song, and a few continued humming it after the challenge ended.

Nearing the giants’ brownstone, the leader told the men to stop singing and just scream. Scream anything, but make sure it’s loud. They did this thing, all the way home, and then were quickly ushered into their brownstone.

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14 Comments

  1. haha  

    oh man that sucks

  2. huh  

    whats PKE? Do you mean PKA?

  3. barnardgirl  

    They were also in the Barnard Quad, playing what looked like Duck Duck Goose and singing a version of Respect.

  4. EAL  

    Ladies and gentlemen, your Fall 2006 Sigma Chi pledge class!

  5. asdf  

    How is this not hazing?

    • because  

      they're not inflicting psychological or physical harm?

      initiations are not hazing. they're rights of passage that unite the members of the group with a common memory of something fun and embarrassing.

      i am so sick of people considering every little thing hazing. and i'm not even part of the greek system.

  6. yeah right  

    PKA - The "best" frat...

    funny

  7. Alum

    It's "I don't know BUT I've been told . . . ", not "what".

    Admittedly, it's possible that Bwog is accurately reporting a mistake made by the leader and repeated by the pledges. Either way, someone messed up.

  8. thank you bwog  

    I was curious about this.

  9. V-Show

    V-Show Quote:

    "As the men of Pie Kappa Alpha say, I don't need your consent!"

    This is the same frat, no? Good idea not giving your phone number out bwog...

  10. alc  

    I think shouting racist/sexist words as you run down the street is inflicting psychological harm. Based on your definition, "Eskimo Pussy's Mighty Cold" is hazing (and completely offensive.)

  11. Anonymous  

    whats an eskimo?

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