Mar

6

The Ethics of Butler Camping

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With midterms approaching, seats in Butler come at a premium.  The number of alternative options is growing, but whether it’s the pleasing symmetry, or its world class ranking we can’t help coming back for more. So for dedicated Butler-ites, and also for those who are just trying to cram a half semester’s worth of reading in one week, Bwog presents a Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Butler Morals.

Only counting waking hours, I wonder if I have spent more time in Butler or in my dorm room.

  1. Leaving Your Shit
    • Need to go pee? Universal sentiment drives you to it, so Hume says it’s A-Okay.
    • Need to make a food run? Hobbes recognizes that it mutually benefits everyone if we allow each other to get some food every now and then. But apparently life isn’t the only thing that is nasty and brutish (looking at you Butler Cafe coffee…) It’s okay to make a Starbucks, Oren’s, or Joe’s run. Food is allowable as well, but please don’t bring back overly fragrant Indian food, and save those loud crackly Sun Chip bags for the hallway.
    • Need to leave for 3 hours so that you can watch Lord of the Rings? Machiavelli sez we should ruthlessly jack your shit.  If you notice that someone has been gone for over an hour, then feel free to wave over that distraught freshperson who just wandered into the room, and reassure him or her that the MIA person’s spot is now free.  Now he or she owes you…
  2. Moving Peoples’ Shit
    • Apparently there is an official policy about kicking out campers.  We can treat that like Eastern philosophy and ignore it.
    • Only a few books? Kant rambled incoherently for 30 pages about this problem.  Not really sure what he meant, but let’s say that I have a duty to not waste my life trying to figure it out, and I’ll just satisfy my inclination to move aside those books.
    • A few open books and notebooks?Ask the people who were around when the person left.  Use your judgement. But what is judgment? Can we trust reason?  What if the books don’t really exist? What if I don’t exist?

      "Be inhuman out of pity and love of humanity!"

    • Laptop chained to a chair/lamp messy papers all around? This is one is tricky because people most often chain their laptop if they plan on being gone for an extended period of time.  Again, ask neighbors.  If it has definitely been over an hour, arrogantly push aside everything and assert your natural right to ass-chair association.  Then murder everyone who you suspect disagrees with you.  At least that’s what the French would do…

The bottom line is that we have limited space to work with, and so we need to use it efficiently and morally.  What would we do without the Core?

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33 Comments

  1. What would we do without the Core?  

    be very happy.

  2. What do you call

    someone who cleans up after messy students in the library?

    A Butler!

  3. ...  

    but let’s say that I have a duty to not waste my life trying to figure it out\

    nice

  4. Anonymous

    love bwog for posts like this.

  5. Anonymous

    Sadly, I had my books unceremoniously moved to the side in 212/211 while I ran to get some dinner. It turned out for the better though, since I got a nice nook to myself in 209 after searching, so I'm not so bitter.

  6. One week?  

    How about cramming half a semester's reading in one day. Procrastinators unite!

  7. Anonymous  

    love you, bwog.

  8. Who the fuck wrote this?  

    "We can treat that like Eastern philosophy and ignore it."

  9. I think  

    people need to get a life and not camp in the library...its a fucking library....

  10. ...  

    do undergraduates camp in butler? what's the point if your dorm is 1 minute away?

  11. sooo exploitable  

    My CC prof is allowing us to suggest midterm questions, begin lolz.

  12. oh hell no  

    I almost threw a chair at the guy who moved my stuff earlier this week. I saw him in my building elevator today and I was like OH THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

  13. where else am i going to live  

    I got kicked out of my frat house.

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