Mar

31

From the Issue: Staff Personals

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Bwog respects our heritage/amorous affair by posting each issue of The Blue & WhiteThe latest issue, available this week, is a cornucopia of delights: a gripping debate on the merits of shaving, tales of Columbia’s forgotten protests, and profiles of two truly awesome students, among others. Here, the staff of Bwog and The Blue & White presents a collection of brief personals. Valentine’s Day is long gone, but they are presented nonetheless, because even magazine writers need to find love.

Seeking Men

This picture is the most action most of you will get today.

Illustration by Maddy Kloss

Artist wants to spread her creative juices all over your canvas. (5553)

I’ll swallow anything organic. (5233)

London native ready to influence your Strokes with her Kinks. (6317)

Always looking to recruit new staffs. (3025)

Do you want some candy? (3025)

Francophile wants more than Frenching. (4336)

Be my coxswain, and I’ll stroke your boat. (5558)

Put your rabbit into my hat, and we can make some magic together. (5608)

Hey, actually, I’m all set. Great. Tanks! (6290)

Religion major seeks someone to uncover her mystery rites. (6411)

London export interested in trade negotiations. (3270)

I prefer “law stylist.” 30 Rock enthusiast seeks one last college fling before professionalism sets in. (3223)

Don’t miss my Times announcement! (6290)

Be my Chaplin, and I’ll be your table dance. (6434)

Never schmaltzy, up for waltzing, so take her home to meet your Bubbe already. (6313)

Episodically erotic, unfailingly neurotic. (2491)

Sweater vest up! (4925)

Choli ke piche kya hai? Let me show you. (2051)

Ladyplayer seeks game, videogame. (4710)

Dinosaur lover searching for bone. (5482)

Electrical engineer wants to feel a spark with a boy who won’t charge. (4981)

Seeking Women

Isn't it usually a tie or a belt? Whatever, I like this one more.

Illustration by Maddy Kloss

Forget Uncle Sam, I’ll stand at attention for you. (GS Lounge)

Have me your way. (4417)

Boston native wants to put cream in your pie. (2270)

I’ve got a supply for your demand. (2710)

I just quit smoking! That’s cool, right? (2710)

I just started smoking! That’s cool, right? (2710)

Tall, dominant blonde seeks same. (6064)

Captain of dying industry seeks lounge chair covered in inky newsprint to fuck on. (4134)

Looking to split a New Yorker subscription, engage in dungeon play. (2682)

Latinist-cum-lover seeks classic Romance. (2866)

Small Asian male seeks small Asian female. (4222)

I’ll open my source if you open yours. (7744)

Russian Lit major looking for someone to bring his Bronze Horseman to life. (6399)

Looking to embed your systems. (7066)

Young man with tremor promises perpetual good vibrations, no batteries required. (4620)

Art history major seeks phallic symbols in nearly everything. (4649)

Thick description wants some deep play. (4941)

Queen of ambiguous “friendships” seeks the Gayle King to her Oprah Winfrey. (5506)

Whatever I Can Get

Me: rising editor-in-chief of prominent campus publication. You: first year stunned senseless by power. It’s tradition! (6064)

Over the Sufi mysticism now. Let’s try tantric sex. (612 Lewisohn)

Dirty dean seeks modern-day philosopher to Foucault her Kant. (Hamilton 208)

Full disclosure: I’m a furry. (Baker Field)

Feeder seeks feedee for V&T pizza. (2875 Broadway, Suite 303, New York, NY 10025)

Majestic predator wants to sweep you off your feet. (The Skies!)

Blessed MILF wants you to matriculate all over her. (Low Steps)

Got blight? Let me be your beacon. (Low 202)

Anti-revolutionary, uprisings encouraged. (exiled, somewhere in the South of France)

Exotic dancer will bear it all. (LeFrak Gym)

I want to make you bwet. ([email protected])

Strong, beautiful administrator seeks well-endowed philanthropist to enter her Vag. (109 Milbank)

My name’s Feniosky. Isn’t that hot? (510 Mudd)

 

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    I liked the part with the innuendos.

  2. person  

    I can't take the Bwog seriously as a publication until they only fuck each other, like Speccies.

  3. Anonymous  

    the illustration = atonement, college-style

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