Thanks to Frontiers, we can read complicated graphs like this one to learn about official numbers. No, but really—what's an axis...?

Apple released its quarterly profit ($5.99 billion!), and it’s up 95 percent from their year-end quarter profit. This is partially chalked up to the sale of the iPhone 4 through Verizon, which began in February. iPads apparently did not sell as well as predicted, due to a supply constraint. (WSJ)

Assemblyman Micah Kellner and State Senator Joseph E. Robach have introduced a bill which would enable New York to name an official state dog. Although they’re leaning toward a rescue dog, we’d like to throw the Pomeranian from Book Culture into the candidate mix. (NYMag)

Café 212, muffin-sandwich-salad purveyor extraordinaire, has 62 points worth of health code violations—search “Cafe 212” and see for yourself. Demerits include “evidence of mice” and “filth flies.” Things that are comforting about this situation: nothing. (NYC Restaurant Inspection)

The search for a university to establish an applied science and engineering campus in the city waxes on. There are currently 18 bids! Ben Wildavsky, global university reach expert, addresses the ones that already exist (Hey SEAS!): it “might keep some of the excellent universities that are already in New York on their toes. It might also create all sorts of research collaborations.” (Times Higher Education)

That thing that happened with our acceptance rate has been given an official name: “application inflation.” Michele Norris talks to Bloomberg News’ higher education reporter Janet Lorin about this phenomenon in All Things Considered. (NPR)

Oh, and you can stop whining about how much time you spend in Butler, now. Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule included awaking at 5 am, and breaking from work sparingly only for meals and to do activities like “put things in their places” and “read or look over accounts.” (Buzzfeed)

Pretty lines and dots that are meaningless to us humanities majors via Wikimedia Commons.