Senior Wisdom: Roxanne Unger
Written by Bwog Staff
Claim to fame: Two things: COÖP Coordinator and sophomore year I ate only one color every day for a week with my roommate Nora Rodriguez. Blue day was the hardest (blueberries and Hpnotiq).
Where are you going? I’ll probably get a professional job or career at some point. Once that’s accomplished, I’m sure I’ll be really busy with meetings, conferences, teleconferences, conference calls, and office gossip –not to mention all the pant suits and memos. So I most likely won’t be reachable by anyone but business associates and professional colleagues. Your best bet will be to try my beeper.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. Rooftops are accessible –don’t take no for an answer.
2. Mice are inevitable, and they will parade about your kitchen like they own the place. I’m talking to you, Melissa.
3. Sometimes you’ll win a free meal at Community by making a dress out of trash, and sometimes Community will burn down before you’re able to use it.
“Back in my day…” Ferris Booth wasn’t all-you-can-eat. I recently ventured back, blacked out, and emerged 2 hours later having eaten my weight in egg salad. Thanks, Columbia?
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: If a Fahrenheit 451–type situation were to come about, I’d be able to recount most of the original Star Wars trilogy by heart. The prequels can go up in flames for all I care.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Who knows if this perennial struggle will ever truly be over, but think it’s fair to say that the seniors won a decisive victory this year with 40s on 40. The night, however, was not without casualties. In hot pursuit of known criminal Javi Plasencia, I barrel rolled (or was it tripped… I don’t remember) over a chain fence on college walk. In the process I lost my phone and my dignity.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Whoever chooses oral sex for this question has never tasted manchego.
Advice for the class of 2015:
1. Pass/fucking/fail. You should do this every semester. You can always uncover it, so it’s a win-win
2. Never feel guilty about taking a nap. When you need sleep, you need sleep. Personally I think it’s almost always worth it.
3. Don’t freak out if you don’t meet your BFFs in the first week of school. There are sooo many incredible people at Columbia, and you’ll find amazing friends!
4. Do COÖP!!! One of the best decisions you’ll make!
Any regrets? No regrets! I loved my time at Columbia, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I will, though, say this: We’re in this together, COÖP, never tell anyone.