Nov

20

PowerSuites: The Marauders

Written by

We’ve seen Pizza Partiers and Politicos. This week, Bwog visited another PowerSuite where students have taken mischief making to the next level. Alison Herman gives you a peak inside the mysterious, pop-culture referencing, internationally influenced, and pest enduring world of Ruggles #120-123.

Step into the lobby of Ruggles Hall and one door will quickly catch your eye: after all, it’s hard to miss the picture of Jared Frieder, Liz Conn, Logan Guntzelman, and Alex Varsavsky, all CC ’12, dressed up as Yoda, C-3PO, Princess Leia, and Darth Vader from Star Wars. A trip inside the Ruggles 120s, however, proves that the zany family portrait is only the tip of the decoration iceberg.

These four Columbia College seniors have fulfilled the childhood dream of every Harry Potter fan: creating their very own Marauders’ Map. It may not be magically enchanted, but the five-by-eight, to-scale, and color-coded depiction of campus documents four years’ worth of misadventures in and around Morningside Heights. It even has its own poem:

Bear ye witness to a map of mischief,

Magic sage and homo lore,

A final year of senior quests,

Made in blood by roommates four.

Don Quixote battled windmills,

And Achilles had to let it burn,

But tis the year of raging, bitches—

And this year, it’s our turn.

The four residents, who met freshman year and have lived together (with the exception of study abroad) ever since, created the map to document their late-night adventures around campus. Beginning with Kent Hall their junior year, the quartet have mined the vending machines of Mathematics and smuggled balloons from Lewisohn into Butler Library. Just like the fictional Marauders, they’ve even picked up nicknames along the way, although they’re slightly less G-rated than Padfoot and Prongs: Blizzbian (Liz), Cuntzelfuck (Logan), Putacara (Alex), and Mr. Taylor Swift (Jared). Each suite member also has their own Mean Girls nickname; Jared is Damien, Logan is Janice, Liz is Karen, and Alex is Cady.

The suite’s décor doesn’t stop with the Map. The bathroom is Indian-themed, featuring religious iconography and Hindi-language posters. Although the fireplace may be boarded up, a light-up plastic fire pit creates the same cozy effect. And just by the kitchen—always stocked with cheese and mustard, Liz and Logan’s favorite foods—is a list of in-suite animal sightings. As of Bwog’s visit, there were three, including flies and cockroaches. The worst were the mice.

Pests aside, the Marauders are intent on making the most of their senior year. Mischief managed.

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31 Comments

  1. uhhh  

    dressed up as Coda, C-3PO, Princess Leia, and Darth Vader from Star Wars.

    Coda? "C" isn't even close to "Y" on the keyboard.

  2. Oh my god  

    I think I just had like, 20 orgasms reading this post. This is one awesome suite.

  3. Anonymous  

    hahaha let's just brush that last powersuite under the rug and forget it ever happened....

    • nwbar

      Just so this discussion don't totally steal their thunder, these people seem chill and I'm bummed I haven't met them in real life.

      Alright, now exiting the real person zone and entering troll mode. I didn't think the 1% post, as published, was out of line at all. I do think that the reaction that happend was pretty much exactly what anyone would have expected if they'd have given it a moment's thought. I don't really blame Bwog for that, sometimes it's easy to just do things without thinking, "wait, what if everyone's a complete asshole for no reason whatsoever?"

      I don't want to exonerate the trolls. The personal attacks on one of the girls were shameful, and on the whole the trolls generally brought a lot of hate onto people who really didn't do much to ask for it other than be a certain type of person. Status criminals. You're Just Now Allowed to be in finance. It's a similar situation to one of the senior wisdoms from last spring that I can't find — she was involved in CU Democrats, had a lot of political content, something like that. In both cases, a few sentences in it was obvious to me they were going to get torn apart.

      That's kind of fucked up.

      I don't want to overstate Bwog's influence on the general callousness of the comments, but I don't think you can completely absolve them of guilt, either. I hate snark. Everything is snark, snark, snark. If you're a repost of a repost of a repost of an NYTimes article, sure, snark away. But mockery from the get-go just sets the bar at that. Scorn and hatred follow.

      I've never really forgiven Bwog for sounding so delighted about Operation Ivy League. Sure, be angry at them for their crimes, be angry at the police for the drug war, be annoyed at, the coverage but don't have George Costanza "restrained jubilation" because it's a source of news fodder and middling puns. I can't find the link for Eliza Shapiro talking to the New York Times about student media during the whole ordeal (sorry for naming names, but I mean, it's a quote to the New York Times.) The gist of it was "I can't wait to see what will happen next," which has always stuck me as slightly off.

      Maybe that's a bridge too far. I don't know. In any case, I don't think you can really talk down to the Columbia community for abusing your comment section. It's a neutral to hostile place at best a lot of the time. (I was going to be a cynical bastard and say that the responses to Tina Bu's death don't count because it's easy to go through the motions of caring once it's too late and someone's problems are impossible to ignore [and if you were a friend of hers there was no way you could have stopped her, don't blame yourself], but I think that the fact that there was the same outpouring before for "Something we don't usually do," when there was no immediate tragedy means that there really is some genuine good in the comments. So cynicism retracted).

      But I do think that Bwog really needs to think about the environment it creates and the tone it sets, and not be so quick to dismiss it as the fault of a few douchey trolls.

        • lolAnon  

          Few things infuriate me as potently as memetic apathy and sloth.

          Fine, go ahead and choose not to read it if you feel it's too long-- but if you've got enough time to type up your lulzy "tl;dr", you've got enough time to read the post and at the very least /consider/ giving a productive response. Or else, you ignore it. Why on earth would you voluntarily insert yourself into a discussion for the sole purpose of expressing your apathy toward that discussion? It's because you're a douchebag, or because you're an idiot, or maybe even both!

          Maybe I'm just irritable from staying up all night and the caffeine's getting to me--or maybe you could save your 4chan (more likely reddit, these days) bullshit for your high school buddies. Nwbar actually had a pretty good point in there, and if you ask me, the amount of text didn't subtract from the validity of that point! Not one bit!

      • Anonymous  

        "But I do think that Bwog really needs to think about the environment it creates and the tone it sets, and not be so quick to dismiss it as the fault of a few douchey trolls." <<< THANK YOU. I agree with this 100%.

        Anonymous commenters are nasty and they always will be, which doesn't excuse the spiteful things posted in response to the last Power Suite. However, I absolutely do not understand why ANYONE at Bwog thought it would have been a good idea to title a group of people who had interned in finance "the 1%." The term is an extremely loaded one and necessarily invokes a sense of status/wealth superiority over everyone else. I was taken aback by Claire Sabel's comment in the thread that said that "the 1% was just a silly title that they came up with," because it was just so tone-deaf to the fact that the term is blatantly elitist.

        Frankly, my reaction to the post was negative the instant I read the title — I'm sure that the suite had a lot more going for it than just the fact they interned in finance, and Bwog could have chosen to spin them another way. Bwog is probably the most widely read source of campus news here, and I think that they — along with the spiteful commenters — came up short on that post.

  4. ZOMG  

    dey da bestest. and the sexest.

  5. Anonymous  

    google sayanythingcuandbc

    • Cool!  

      But honestly it's really similar to [email protected] You should revive "I Saw You Columbia."

      • Anonymous  

        it's not like [email protected] though, it's moderated so the same thing doesn't happen

        • nwbar

          But [email protected] is good again...

        • But  

          that just means it's [email protected]..only censored (and with an interface that's not as snappy). Real talk: "I Saw You Columbia" was immensely popular; not sure why they shut it down, but I don't think it was for want of users. If you go with that vibe, and advertise it as a new "ISYC"-type site, I think you'll get a lot of interest. Nothing else fills that Columbia Missed Connections niche--go for it!

          • Anonymous  

            I get your point... but I personally haven't heard of ISYC, and I don't think others have either so making it a new brand could be good. Also... what's wrong with the interface? What could I do to make it better?
            Also, post on the site if you like these types of websites

          • Yeah,  

            I would definitely say run with the idea, and make it your own brand. Just as a point of interest: ISYC was a website that was around about two years ago with a 'Missed Connections' quality. A lot of the postings were witty, and some even went places (speaking from personal experience). I just think it was a good thing for Columbia: we tend to see people around this campus, and then miss the chance to engage with them; a 'Columbia Missed Connections' site helps solve that.

            Nothing's wrong with the interface per se, but maybe a bit too white? Perhaps some shading behind individual posts to make them easily distinguishable, and a slightly more obvious "Reply/Post" tab.

  6. Anonymous  

    and censored isn't the right word, nothing will be censored. Basically the only things that won't go through are hate speech otherwise go right at it and say whatever you wanna say!!!

  7. Anonymous  

    bored at butler seems like a pain in the ass with having to log in and all

  8. aw crap  

    if only the third line of the poem could steal a syllable from the first, and the eighth could take one from the sixth.

  9. Anonymous  

    LOVE them, best powersuite

  10. Anonymous  

    Oh man I've always wanted to smuggle balloons into Butler!!

  11. Erik  

    omg so coool yesssssssssssssssssssssssss. now this is a powersuite. i want to make my own map, damnit!

  12. Anonymous  

    can there be a lottery to live in this suite? please?!

  13. Anonymous  

    Are we behaving ourselves well enough, mommy Bwog? Will you let this post stay up?

  14. HAWT  

    hawt hawt hawt. you guys are KILLIN IT. I wanna slather Logan with peanut butter and drink Liz's hot yoga sweat and salsa meringue myself all around that gal Alex and smush myself against Jared in a Taylor Swift slow dance. <3

  15. sad  

    too bad he has a boyfriend

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