Apr

24

Senior Wisdom: Andrea Folds

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Know an erudite elder? Fill out the Senior Wisdom nomination form! For tonight’s dose of wisdom, meet Andrea Folds, squirrel breeder and PB&J connoisseur.

Name, Hometown, School: Andrea Folds, Atlanta, Columbia College

Claim to Fame: Hating hipsters non-ironically. JK that’s too easy. I could say being Kia Walton’s roommate, but that’s too real. I guess I’d have to say being the awkward one in situations so that no one else has to. It automatically makes other people more comfortable when there’s an awkwardness scapegoat. Also accidentally ending up in positions where Columbia trusts me with money.

Where are you going? Nashville, to seminary! It’s weird, right? The first place I’m ever more religious than center, I go totally over the edge and make it my life’s work. And my first time living away from the South, I freak out and make a beeline for Dolly Parton’s home state.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. You can’t just be friends with the nice people.
  2. Go to all the dance parties.
  3. Earnestness is really the most important.

“Back in my day…” P&W was the delicious neighborhood hangout for old folks and those who love them. A vortex called Campo sucked in children at night.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: 1st- I hand-raised a baby squirrel in Carman and successfully re-integrated it into the Columbia ecosystem. 2nd- Fem Sex! It’s really the happiest I’ve been doing anything here. Everyone should join. Neither the Fem nor the Sex part even need apply to you. Such the best. There you go.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Many rounds of spin the bottle are played in the Stacks. Maybe that counts as combat? I worry that students have more fun complaining about losing wars than winning them, though, so there’s that.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Playing the vegan card is such a cop-out…Maybe if peanut butter were at stake, I’d struggle more.

Advice for the class of 2016: Best PBJ on campus in this order: Carlton Lounge, Uris Cafe, Joe’s. Do not eat the ones in little plastic boxes at 212. Also, go on COOP and meet your soul mates.

Any regrets? Things are much funner once you’re gay. I should’ve gotten on that sooner. Also regret buying 25 mailbox keys and not telling Amy she saved my life before she left HamDel.

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60 Comments

  1. Barnard fan  

    Andreaaaaaaaaa have my babies!

  2. Anonymous

    I'd like to fold Andrea

  3. Anonymous  

    Such an awesome person! Met her in a core class freshman year and I'm glad to have met her -- so friendly and smart and passionate. You'll do great things, Andrea!

  4. manic pixie dream girl

    words can't express the wonder of andrea

  5. Cubana

    DANCE PARTY! RIGHT NOW IN MY ROOM! Campo was a vortex, omg. You met your soulmates on Carman 6, don't lie <333

  6. gurlll  

    andrea is one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever had the privilege of meeting on this campus. they really don't make em like her.

  7. Khalil  

    Andrea Folds i love you to the ends of the Earth! no shame.

  8. Anonymous  

    yay Andrea! you're the sweetest

  9. Anonymous  

    hahahah I'm so glad you published something about Andrea. This sounds exactly how she talks, aka it's hilarious and true at the same time.

  10. .

    Girl is literally one of the most beautiful on this campus. As a person, definitely, but: damn, that face. Love her.

  11. Anonymous

    oh andrea i just love you to pieces

  12. Anonymous  

    ah the absolute best!

  13. Anonymous

    guh. i wish senior wisdoms were in the fall so i could meet people like this...

  14. Anonymous  

    You changed my life in FemSex!

  15. Anonymous  

    Andrea you are the nicest, most ernest and most caring person that I've encountered at Columbia. You will be so missed!

  16. Nice girl  

    but this wasn't written very coherently. Nor was it very interesting...

  17. Anonymous

    Also, this lady is GREAT at persevering. Super-inspiring woman.

  18. Anonymous  

    ughhh i wish you had been gay sooner you're the cutest.

  19. taradactyl

    she leaves big shoes to fill...figuratively and literally

  20. femsexi  

    <3333333 so lovely, so down to earth, and chiiiiilllll, soo chilllll

  21. Anonymous  

    Oh, Andrea...we just can't help but love you (in fact, let it be known that I officially dedicate that Marvin Gaye song, "I can't help but love you," to Andrea Folds). Andrea is one of the most authentic and sincere people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Truly an inspiration. She's going to change the world someday. You'll see. =)

  22. CARMAN5  

    CARMAN5 CLASS OF 2012 ALL THE WAY!

  23. Anonymous

    Andrea's great.

    That said, I'm mostly reading these in anticipation that this will be the one that the Bwog hivemind turns on for no reason whatsoever.

  24. FemSexy Admirer  

    I am in love with you!

  25. Anonymous

    Not specifically this one. But one will be. And every one gets closer to that inevitable day.

  26. Andrea Garcia-Vargas  

    I am so proud to have known you, Andrea. Also, FemSex Fall 2011 forever. <3

  27. AS-partame  

    I LUV U ANDREA U THE BEST

  28. as-PAR-tame  

    Your answers made me laugh out loud because I can hear your voice reading all of those sentences. You go girl.

  29. asparTAME  

    You also rock for raising a baby squirrel in Carman AND integrating it into the ecosystem.

  30. as par ta mee  

    We will miss you when you graduate ~~~~

  31. nunzilla  

    I'm intrusting you to save my soul.

  32. Friend  

    Andrea, you are the most sincere and down to earth lady IN DA WURLD.

  33. secret lover  

    andrea has been an inspiration to not only me but LITERALLY every single lady i know. you are more powerful than you give yourself credit for (but only because you're too down-to-earth and thoughtless for your own good). thanks for changing my life.

  34. carman 5  

    for the win!!!!
    andrea=life

  35. love love love  

    so proud of you. so amazed by you. so enamored of you. so inspired by you. you go, girl.

  36. Anonymous  

    1) how do i get involved in fem sex? i've heard about it but haven't seen anything.
    2) what seminary? that's so cool.

  37. Jordan  

    Andrea, you keep me sane

  38. Diana

    Yeah Andrea!!!!!!!!!!!! P+W 4 Life

  39. Anonymous  

    THE NUMBER OF UPVOTES IN THIS COMMENT THREAD IS TOO DAMN HIGH.

    this andrea folds chick is certainly well-liked, at least according to this post's comment karma

  40. Andrea's mother

    Yes, I feel special having been cosmically selected to give birth to this precious human--- obviously one of God's little jokes (He loves irony, I've heard).

  41. Anonymous  

    All these positive comments are just as stupid and destructive as the negative character attacks bwog posts often inspire. Senior wisdom should prompt discussion about the ideas the wisdom-giver has presented. Instead, it becomes a place for us to judge people - to either grant them our benevolent approval or to say that they suck. Isn't this just a little bit bizarre?

  42. Anonymous  

    Yay Fem Sex

  43. Anonymous  

    Bwog, when are phi beta kappa inductees notified?

  44. Roko  

    Andrea, I've been obsessing over you from a safe distance for two full years now.

    I can only dream of reaching the infinitesimal amount of fucks you give.

    <3

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