Senior Wisdom: Andrea Folds
Written by Bwog Staff
Know an erudite elder? Fill out the Senior Wisdom nomination form! For tonight’s dose of wisdom, meet Andrea Folds, squirrel breeder and PB&J connoisseur.
Name, Hometown, School: Andrea Folds, Atlanta, Columbia College
Claim to Fame: Hating hipsters non-ironically. JK that’s too easy. I could say being Kia Walton’s roommate, but that’s too real. I guess I’d have to say being the awkward one in situations so that no one else has to. It automatically makes other people more comfortable when there’s an awkwardness scapegoat. Also accidentally ending up in positions where Columbia trusts me with money.
Where are you going? Nashville, to seminary! It’s weird, right? The first place I’m ever more religious than center, I go totally over the edge and make it my life’s work. And my first time living away from the South, I freak out and make a beeline for Dolly Parton’s home state.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
- You can’t just be friends with the nice people.
- Go to all the dance parties.
- Earnestness is really the most important.
“Back in my day…” P&W was the delicious neighborhood hangout for old folks and those who love them. A vortex called Campo sucked in children at night.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less: 1st- I hand-raised a baby squirrel in Carman and successfully re-integrated it into the Columbia ecosystem. 2nd- Fem Sex! It’s really the happiest I’ve been doing anything here. Everyone should join. Neither the Fem nor the Sex part even need apply to you. Such the best. There you go.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Many rounds of spin the bottle are played in the Stacks. Maybe that counts as combat? I worry that students have more fun complaining about losing wars than winning them, though, so there’s that.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Playing the vegan card is such a cop-out…Maybe if peanut butter were at stake, I’d struggle more.
Advice for the class of 2016: Best PBJ on campus in this order: Carlton Lounge, Uris Cafe, Joe’s. Do not eat the ones in little plastic boxes at 212. Also, go on COOP and meet your soul mates.
Any regrets? Things are much funner once you’re gay. I should’ve gotten on that sooner. Also regret buying 25 mailbox keys and not telling Amy she saved my life before she left HamDel.