Apr

30

Senior Wisdom: Leah Greenbaum

Written by

Name, Hometown, School: Leah Greenbaum, Newport Beach, CA. A global citizen of Columbia College

Claim to Fame: Spec’s campus news editor; that girl who always begged professors for extensions; that girl who interviewed you once about SGB; that girl who transfered from UC Berkeley and still wears flared levis sometimes/a lot.

Where are you going? Morocco, Cambodia, Belize, New Zealand, New Mexico, everywhere, hopefully someday. But first, I suppose I’ll try to make some money in that gold mine of an industry we call journalism.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • From Robert, the public safety officer at East Campus on Tuesdays: Don’t start letting people make you feel sad, unless you want to be sad forever. Choose happiness and dignity. Also, it’s okay to hug and be hugged by strangers sometimes. Especially when you are weeping.
  • From the cashier lady at Absolute Bagels: Be quick and know what you want.
  • From interviews with PrezBo: No touching!

“Back in my day…” .. it was okay to say you hated Twitter and believed that print journalism would never die. Sorry kids, we were wrong about that one.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I have housed two kittens in Columbia dormitories. #suckitreslife #kittenrebel4lyfe

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories?  I have a story for you. I once brought my hammock up to the roof of Spectator, a Columbia-owned building. For four glorious days we lounged, we beered, we lemonaded, we sunned, and we laughed. We once sat three people to that one hammock. It was like a Hannukah miracle.

Then one day I went up to the roof and Spec’s beloved hammock had disappeared. I’m not saying that Robert Kasdin and John Coatsworth are sharing a pina colada and listening to Jimmy Buffett atop that striped hammock in some dark corner of Low at this very moment, but I’m not, not saying it.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? You should ask my boyfriend. He lives in Madison, WI and he knows there’s a reason I visit the cheddar capital of the US as often as I do.

Advice for the class of 2016:

Proudly may your freak flag fly.

In all seriousness though, I’d encourage students to seek out support at CPS, if you ever feel like you need to talk and don’t know who, how, or what about. Getting help will change your life and it doesn’t make you a freak. And even if it does, fuck it, let that freak flag fly. Own it and don’t be ashamed.

Any regrets?

I know I should say “no! party hard and die young bitchezz” here, but there are a lot of things I wish I’d done differently. I wish I’d found more classes to love, gone to more friends’ events, called my parents more, done bigger and bolder things with my time at Spec and Columbia, etc…

But then again, I’m graduating from Columbia University this month with an incredible set of friends and a life-changing education AND I get to do a bwog senior wisdom!? Soo many things went right in my life to bring me to this point.

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26 Comments

  1. This was a good SW  

    The oral/cheese question was handled masterfully, and I find myself wanting to go buy a hammock.

    Good luck with your travels, Leah!

  2. Yo Bwog  

    what about closing remarks?

  3. Speccie

    leah is the greatest. ever.

  4. i love you leah

    you are the baddest sassy bitch i met here. this girl is going places!

  5. TK  

    Bon voyage to a fantastic human being! Leah is fantastic and hilarious. Except that time I was living next door to her and she snuck a cat into her room and I got a bad case of the allergies big time. Not funny.

  6. Anonymous  

    MOAR STUDNETSZ OF NIGRO HURITAGE BWOG WHY U SO RACIST ONLY SHOW 95% AFRICAN MERICAN SENIOR WIZDOM!!

  7. sports

    I'd share a hammock, pina colada, cheese, and/or boyfriend with Leah any day of the week.

  8. Anonymous  

    I LOVE LEAH GREENBAUM. Brilliance doesn't usually come in the form of a person so fun-loving, considerate, and grounded. She's going to rock this world.

  9. The Cloaked Shadow  

    sun-tzu says "respect thy enemy", and I respect Leah.

  10. Anonymous  

    she has a boyfriend? NOOOOOO. I really thought she was single. truth: ive actually had a little crush on this girl for like 3 years.

  11. Anonymous

    CAN U. PLZ KISS ME HOLY COW

  12. Anonymous  

    leah! you were a transfer student in my lit hum class during my freshman year, and you always had the greatest outlook on things.

    kudos for shouting out my homeland, belize!

    thanks for being awesome, always. i'm glad i got to meet you, even though we never kept in touch. good luck with everything!

  13. Anonymous

    omg the answer the the oral sex/cheese question, so good! i wish i got to know you better.

  14. Anonymous  

    Love this girl! So glad I got to know you this year Leah!!

  15. Spec Hammock  

    Dear Leah and friends,
    Help! I'm trapped inside the basement of Low Library next to refuse from the Manhattan Project and Robert Kasdin's old ski poles. I miss those leisurely sunny afternoons together on the roof. Please save me!

  16. Slayaforlife  

    Leah Greenbaum has more wisdom than this campus will ever know!

  17. this is hilarious  

    best senior wisdom yet!!!!

  18. Finn  

    Leah, you were the most wonderful editor/mentor/bro a fella could have had. Thanks for doing everything you did with grace and style. Be prepared for some sappiness/crying/lolling tonight.

  19. wait

    I love you. ugh. who the fuck is this funny and brilliant and un-hipsterly cool PLEEZ DON'T LEAVE except please do or NY will ruin you.

  20. Anonymous  

    Leah you are an inspiration to us all and you have been such a wonderful role model! Thank you for EVERYTHING!!

  21. Anonymous  

    dude New Mexico is the greatest. go all the thyme.

  22. Tanvi  

    Leah I love you

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