Sep

20

Drinking with Bwog – Lit Hum

Written by

If it’s only the third week of classes and you’re already dreading the biweekly torture that is Literature Humanities (or as it’s called by those in the know, Masterpieces of Western Literature and Philosophy in the City of New York), Bwog is here to help. You’re already showing up to your classes hung over, so why not take it to the logical next step and use Lit Hum as the perfect opportunity for a two-hour pregame? For those who need a little help, we’ve created a Lit Hum-themed drinking game to get you started. We suggest that you bring your drink of choice to class in a coffee mug, thermos, Nalgene, or that free NSOP water bottle that you have no other use for.

The Pregame:

Before you get to class, take a shot if…

  • …you’re drinking something that’s mentioned in the book you’re reading.
  • …you actually did the reading.
  • …your professor already hates you.
  • …your section meets in Carman.

Things your professor does:

Take a sip every time your professor…

  • …says a Greek word.
  • …asks a question that nobody answers.
  • …mysteriously references a book in the syllabus you weren’t supposed to have read yet.
  • …interrupts a student.

Take a gulp every time your professor…

  • …says a Greek word other than kleos, menis, or aresteia.
  • …asks a question that nobody answers because they don’t realize it’s a question.
  • …nods vaguely although they clearly don’t understand what a student is talking about.
  • …trips over someone’s bag.

Chug the rest of your drink if your professor…

  • …responds to a student’s comment, “No, that’s completely wrong.”
  • …breaks into song.
  • …throws something at a student.
  • …reveals an embarrassing fetish.

Things your classmates do:

Take a sip every time someone…

  • …pretends to be raising their hand, and when called on says they were just stretching.
  • …compares whatever you’re reading to a book in the syllabus your class has already read.
  • …dozes off.
  • …says, “I think the question was…” and repeats the professor’s question before answering.

Take a gulp every time someone…

  • …asks if they’re pronouncing something correctly even though they clearly think they are.
  • … compares whatever you’re reading to a book in the syllabus your class hasn’t gotten to yet.
  • …shares an irrelevant personal anecdote.
  • …leaves class to go to the bathroom and comes back with coffee.

Chug the rest of your drink if someone…

  • …breaks their laptop.
  • …gets the same haircut as someone else in your class.
  • …hits on the professor.
  • …has an existential moment and spontaneously yells, “What are we all doing here?!”

Bonus Round:

Chug your drink if…

  • …something in the classroom breaks for no apparent reason.
  • …someone outside the window climbs in and joins your class.
  • …50 minutes in, you realize you’ve been sitting in an Econ class the entire time.

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5 Comments

  1. Karim

    There are a few classes where I can imagine the same professor doing at least three and maybe even all four of the things that would require you to chug the whole bottle.

  2. Anonymous

    These drinking articles are very Dartmouth.

  3. CC'12 Alum

    Well done! This made me laugh as I slack off at a corporate job. Young lions, appreciate the wit of your fellow classmates. You won't find the same brand of Columbia sass and wit when you start climbing the corporate ladder.

  4. Anonymous  

    do this for Uwriting

  5. Anonymous  

    "…nods vaguely although they clearly don’t understand what a student is talking about."

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