Oct

20

Double Trouble: Objection Edition

Written by

Objection, your Honor

“Are you my mummy?”

Don’t shed those tears after our 21-16 loss to Dartmouth, Bwog is here to cheer you up with a double dose of Overheards and Overseens. Thanks to our army of minions tipsters, we’ve gathered some snippets through the grapevine.

Freshman athletes on Lit Hum:

“I didn’t know, when I committed, about the whole liberal arts thing and talking about dead people and feelings.”

Experimentation led to comforting results:

Girl (to a guy): “I mean, I was a freshman, it was an experiment, and really it just made me more confident in my straightness.”

Bwog would like to remind everyone to maintain laundry habits:

Girl in Columbia tracksuit (to another girl): “She wore the same outfit twice in one week. Eww!”

Where was Machaon when you needed him?

Middle-aged man (to another) in front of Butler: “Here’s all the Greek guys. Syphilis.. herpes..”

In a history lecture, a professor asked how to resolve a  certain financial problem in a company:

Girl: “Lower wages.”

Professor (sarcastically): “You should study economics.”

Two guys brofist each other in apparent affirmation of their major choice.

Bwog would be remiss if we forgot the alcohol:

Senior (sitting on Baker Field shuttle): “Four more beers! Four more beers!”

Bwog’s pet (be jealous) via Shutterstock

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20 Comments

  1. Nice

    Doctor Who reference ftw

  2. Anonymous  

    its unfair that athletes can get into columbia so easily. people who actually work hard should have their spots. all to fucking lose every game every year... seriously, fuck MOST of the sports players... there re a few who do deserve their spots.

    • Anonymous  

      FINALLY someone says it...

    • Anonymous  

      That is a way biased assessment. While there are a few players here that aren't as academically accomplished as the majority of the student body, that's not the case for most of the athletes here. They've been working twice as hard from a young age in order to excel in both school and their sport. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to balance a high level of academics AND a pre-professional athletic standing? Also these student-athletes didn't come to this school with the goal of entertaining you as their primary goal. They came to make a contribution to Columbia's athletics program and to do their best. They're in the gym training every single day in both on and off season and that's in addition to being regular students like you too! So give them a break and lay off the judgement please.

      • Anonymous  

        "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently, that which should not be done at all". --Peter Drucker

      • Anonymous  

        yeah, you are probably an athlete. if they are there practicing all day long, why the hell do they lose every single game. im sure there are a few athletes who manage to do the whole dealio and do well in sports and school, but seriously, if you are gonna have too much to deal with and then just not do well in sports and academics, why the fuck even come to this school? several of my friends feel the same way -- the sports people shouldnt be here. they dont make real academic contributions and a lot of times not even social contributions, just reaping the benefits they dont deserve.

    • Anonymous  

      Well if you think they're academically lacking, then shouldn't you be happy that the ones in your classes are helping the curve?

    • Man oh man.

      These are the compromises we make. You should what Harvard and Yale do to themselves. I know a guy, a football player from a state school, who was offered the chance to transfer to Yale with a 1050 M/V and a solid B- GPA.

  3. SEAS '13  

    Is it lonely up there in there with your head up your ass?

  4. Anonymous  

    Saw someone reading Herodotus on the shuttles to Baker.

  5. Anonymous  

    Seriously stop with the whining about athletes. I was a recruited athlete who is currently on a sports team here at Columbia and I also scored in the 99 percentile on my SAT. Like STFU people.

  6. Anonymous  

    Quit my team... my GPA went up .6 then next semester. Don't bitch about their performance until you try to balance 18 credits, 30+ hours of training/travel and a job.

    And don't forget: none of the athletes here are doing it for the scholarship money.

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