Drinking with Bwog: Thanksgiving Preparations
Written by Bwog Staff
With midterms and scheduling out of the way, let’s raise a toast to the fact that Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Even if your professor assigns a paper/problem set/project due next Wednesday, you can still join us. Bwog shows you how it’s done:
Pregaming your trip home:
- Take a shot of whiskey every time your mom calls to confirm your flight information.
- Drink a can of beer for every canned food that you aren’t donating to charity.
- Drink a fifth of whiskey if you miss your flight/bus ride.
- Drink… nothing… if you forgot your fake.
- Drink a shot of whiskey if you’ll be sleeping on anything other than your own bed.
- Drink a fifth of whiskey if your room has been converted into a home office, a gym, a study, etc.
- Drink a glass of wine if your pet does not recognize you.
- Take a shot for every relative who asks you how a major in comparative race and ethnic studies is going to get you a job.
- Drink however much red wine you can drink in an Adele song for each time you’re asked if you are “still single.”
- Drink (something) if you have to eat a “tofurkey” this year.
- Drink three fingers of bourbon for everyone who calls it “The Big Apple.”
- Drink a six-pack when you realize you are walking faster than everyone.
- Give a mini wine bottle to every service provider (gas station employee, bagel shop manager, manicurist) who remembers you.
- Take one shot for every high school classmate you run into at the mall/diner.
- Drink three-shot pregame in the parking lot for every high school reunion brunch you’re socially pressured to go to.
- Drink an entire box of Franzia for every “throwback game” of Kings you’re pressured into playing with high school friends.