Nov

29

AskBwogSex: Freudian Slips

Written by

It’s not AskFreudSex for a reason

In this cross between AskBwog and BwogSex, we advise Edward what to do when Bella says “Jacob” in her sleep take a deep look into the psyche.  Send your questions (and stories!) to [email protected]

Hey Bwog,

Is it a big deal if my boyfriend said his ex-girlfriend’s name while he was asleep?

Yours confusedly,
I’m Positive He Loves Me But WTF

Dear I’m Positive He Loves Me But WTF Current Girlfriend,

‘Nuff said. You got the man now (assuming this happened at night and you were in the same bed). Clearly you have options, but some may seem crazier than others. It is NOT a good idea to bring it up to him–he’ll either be:

  1. offended you spied in his sleep (and this may not play out as The Spy Who Loved Me).
  2. embarrassed and will spend the next few days grumpy because he’ll have stayed up monitoring his sleep speech all night.
  3. inspired and will take it as a sign and run back to the ex (…too soon?).

So what’s the real solution here? Obviously you should go slap the ex in the face for having incepted him. If violence isn’t your thing, you can pee around the house to mark your territory. If public urination isn’t your thing, just get a dream catcher and cuddle closely to keep warm during the cold winter.

Sleep well current girlfriend; in CC Freud may teach you that all dreams mean something, but last night Bwog dreamt it was dating a balloon and it looks like that’s not happening any time soon.

Go to sleep!

Bwog

Your buddy Sigmund via Wikimedia

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    What? When did BwogSex become awful? There could have been a thoughtful answer here. Trash, Bwog, trash.

  2. I thought  

    that it was pretty funny.

  3. Anonymous  

    ex-girlfriend no doubt!

  4. Anonymous

    What an awesome idea to ask about Dating/relationship advice from single bwog douchebags.

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