Dec

21

…And to All A Good Night’s Sleep

Written by

HawkMa would like more mice to eat

Hawkma would like more mice to eat

For Christmas, Bwog asked (once again) some of our favorite people–who make life easier at the very least more exciting–what they want for non-denominational end-of-the-year/world gift giving.  See how you can make them so happy they could puke!

  • Deantini is still hoping for that Ferrari 250 GTO (as last year Santa failed to deliver once again), but, more importantly, he wants to”figure out how to reduce the sense of stress that so many students seem to feel.”
  • KevSho wants “Ahi Poke, since I won’t be going home to Hawai’i for the holidays, and that everyone has a safe and restful break.”
  • Dean Martinez wants a quiet day by the fire with her family, a good meal, and a great wine.
  • Lorrie Edwards, Wallach security guard, wants to be able to spend more time with his family.
  • Claire Sabel would like “surprises! Especially alliterative ones. My suitemates surprised me
    with a salad spinner wrapped in a Snuggie, it was the best.”
  • Columbia Admirers is hoping for “a MASSIVE, Consensual, Safe Orgy on Low Steps with Alma.”
  • Columbia Insults really wants Columbians to take themselves less seriously.
  • @Butler_209 wishes for “a full day of sleep, i.e. 24 hours, and at least 2 passing grades.”
  • @barnlib wants–for the library–a second Data Librarian, a third Archivist, and offices to put them in.  And for herself, “books, cats, sleep & a little zine cataloging.”
  • Will Hughes is searching for “a percocet milkshake (just got my wisdom teeth out) or a slow dance with PrezBo.”
  • The man who works nights at the halal cart by EC (whose name Bwog drunkenly got and promptly forgot) is Muslim, but is looking forward to giving a few small gifts to his family.  (He then proceeded to fill Bwog’s container to overcapacity and threw in fries for free, saying we need to eat up to do well on exams.)
  • Bwog Tech Constituent 1 wants “to eradicate Columbia’s rape culture, have a higher Klout score than the rat bastard commie Ali S., and for vegetarians to be humanely treated.”
  • Bwog Tech Constituent 2 is singing for…
    • 6 Servers Spinning
    • 5 Backups Backing
    • 4 Writers Writing
    • 3 Designers Designing
    • 2 Techs Tech’ing
    • And beer.

Ultimately, though, Bwog wants Justin Bieber to buy us a tiny LBD and kiss us under the mistletoe.

Majestic beauty via Wilson Ho

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5 Comments

  1. Hmmm

    I think Columbia insults answered Deantini's problem.

  2. :/ '14

    Columbia Insults is just mean.

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