A comparable ascent to the 7th floor of Hamilton

Bwog knows that you secretly crave confirmation of your opinions on everything from pastries to cafes to chairs, so we are bringing you a new series of reviews of lecture halls. Tonight, we explore the dark side of one of America’s favorite founding fathers… the shitty elevator access in the Columbia Hall named after Alexander Hamilton.

Having class on the seventh floor of Hamilton is like having class at 8:40 AM: it sometimes factors into your decision of whether or not to take the class. This is because you can’t talk about the seventh floor of Hamilton without discussing the journey to get there. Hamilton is home to the most notorious elevator on campus. The only thing worse than waiting on line for half on hour to squeeze into an elevator the size of a welcome mat with about 10 other people would be taking the stairs, which on a beautiful spring day feels like a reverse descent into hell.

This may be an exaggeration, but climbing those stairs can be a pain and add a few minutes onto your day. The elevator line may look daunting around peak class time, but sometimes it is worth the wait. Timing is everything when it comes to this elevator, because it is also possible to arrive at an odd time and have the elevator to yourself. Hitching a ride on the way down is a little easier, but it can still be stressful, especially if your next class has a very strict lateness policy and is across campus.

Trekking up the Hamilton stairs can definitely remind you of how out of shape you are. You’re going to start to sweat around floor five, so try to shed your layers of outerwear as casually as possible. “I’m frantically loosening my scarf because of fashion, not weakness,” you should try to convey to strangers with your eyes. Unless you are an Olympian or genetically perfect, you might not succeed in stifling your heavy breathing around other people. For your own good, you should always leave for a seventh floor Hamilton class with plenty of time to spare.

The building itself is actually quite pretty. The lobby has two big, classy, stained glass windows. And the lecture room is nice too. It is pretty small, especially for a lecture hall, and it is completely done in wood. A slight lack of airflow means that the room will smell like whatever the people in the room smell like. The amount of light also varies a lot. It can be either pleasantly airy, or stiflingly dim. The chairs are close together and really stiff, but the desks aren’t smaller than average. Try not to bang your laptop as you squeeze between them. All things considered, it is a decent place to have class, if you can make it up to the seventh floor.

Intense stairs via Wikimedia Commons