Mar

12

Betches Claim to Love Columbia

Written by

But really, there was a whole Gossip Girl plot arc about how Blair couldn't get in here. Come on.

But really, there was a whole Gossip Girl plot arc about how Blair couldn’t get in here. Bwog expected more.

In the course of Not Doing Work, Bwog totally forgot about our I-Banking interviews and midterms when we saw our GBFF had instagrammed an iPhone screenshot we’d all been waiting for: Columbia University has had the inestimable honor of being profiled by Betches Love This.

The article is pretty tame by Bwog-comment standards. The most cringe-worthy part is the author’s racist break-down of our student body into Hipsters, Sorority Girls, Frat Bros, Internationals and Asians.  We’re not too annoyed the Betches didn’t talk about us since they didn’t even mention Nate Archibald’s star run on the lax team.

If non-stop midterm studying has caused you to forget every tired Columbia stereotype that’s existed since Nicholas Murray Butler graduated, this article will be of great use. If you’re missing your fix on bitching in comments (about Bacchanal), jump straight into the excellent betchstorm in the comments.

It’s like whateverdying.

Queen B via Wikimedia

 

Tags: , , , , ,

22 Comments

  1. On behalf of Columbia men...  

    What, my dear bwog, is a "betch"?

  2. Sherry J. Wolf  

    This is offensive.

    There's not even a SINGLE mention of the PLIGHT of FACULTY HOUSE WORKERS or STUDENTS FOR JUSTICE IN PALESTINE. Please re-examine your privileged journalistic priorities and take it down, bwog.

  3. Anonymous  

    " She’s never waited on line at a club or bar in her life. She wears the best clothes and can pull off risqué, cool outfits with ease and without looking like a whore, or Lady Gaga. Her life is like an episode of The Hills, always involving some sort of drama with her friends or a guy that everyone wants to know about, even if they barely know her."

    yeah desperate to be her friend, that's me

  4. wait  

    this is a joke right, this website? satire, parody, something?

  5. Come on guys  

    If you can't take this as a joke and actually admit that this is incredibly accurate.... I don't know where we've come to.

  6. chill out  

    everyone needs to chill out. this website is joke. like actually the whole purpose of the website is to be a joke. if this is not the columbia you know, then fine. get over it. its supposed to be funny, not analyzed.

    • Sherry J. Wolf

      You're a joke. A misogynistic one. You need to get re-educated.

    • Okay

      I actually hate when people say you can't analyze humor. Why are jokes these holy exceptions that no one is allowed to analyze ever or else they are an overly sensitive crybaby? Sure, farce is great sometimes, but the best humor is calling your attention to something new or an old something in a new way. That's being critical! Yes? Yes. Okay.

  7. Anonymous  

    the number of links in this article is obnoxious. moderation.

  8. Anonymous  

    "everyone else is a desperate Econ major clawing for interviews at Goldman or JP Morgan"

    amen to that. ya'll bitches need to repent.

  9. the thing is  

    Works like tear down people who don't need to be torn down. Jocks? Already been done. Sorority girls? Same thing. And to clump together a group of the student body into "asians"? Boring, unnecessary, and borderline racist. Satire should target the ridiculous speech and actions of those in power, a la Colbert, and not harmless non-cohesive populations of the student body, be it jocks or Barnard students. This author and ppl like the marching band are in a position where they can be heard by all but those being "satired" haven't really done anything worth making fun of and can't repudiate these claims. idk I'm just really tired of this grade school bs pretending to be staire.

  10. not a fan  

    of these "funny" "satirical" bwog "pieces"

  11. seriously?  

    Not accurate and not funny. :/ And I feel like the perpetuation of these sorts of stereotypes only do harm to our sense of community and ignore the richness and diversity of the people here.

    I feel like Bwog is better off doing bios of students than talking about something so clearly meant to polarize us and massage the ego of the writers. :/

  12. Anonymous  

    @Sherry J. Wolf: Honestly, I'm starting to get impressed by your dedication. It's like you beat the dead horse so much that it turned into fertilizer for the apple seeds that were in its stomach. Now an apple tree is rising from the horse's carcass. Its not a particularly fruitful apple tree, but its starting to get humorous.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.