Apr

16

“Don’t Call Me A SWUG”

Written by

girl
girl

SNAG in Training

Seemingly in response to Yale Daily News’s recent #SWUGNation feature and the subsequent NYMag piece that followed, an anonymous tipster sent in her own lifestyle manifesto.  Read below to discover the provocative tale of the Columbia SNAG: Senior Not Amused Girl.

They call it a “darty” (a daytime party), and the one he begged us to come to at his frat last weekend was as laughable as the thought of being washed up at 21. The Koronet’s guys know our names. We can shotgun faster than any Delta Sig, and while our skinny jeans aren’t as tight as theirs, they’re harder to get into. Veni, vidi, vici. We came, we pre-gamed, and we hope you didn’t exhaust your right hand playing pong.

SWUG? No. We’re the girls who rejected you before your interviewers did. We don’t Lean In—we sit at the head of the table.

The embrace of #swuglife is as amusing as the source of its etymological origin. Of course, one should expect nothing less from girls who choose to spend their weekends kissing frogs at Toad’s. Partaking in SWUGhood must feel like plunging into the excrement of Dante’s third circle.

Enter the SNAG. Senior Not Amused Girl.

Who is the SNAG? She’s the girl who promised she would never go on another date with a college boy, but now finds herself entertaining texts from the senior she’ll unavoidably reject. She thinks this is funny.

Sure, she danced on the bar in his frat’s basement, while watching him slip his hand under that freshman’s BCBG bandage skirt. He sent her a 3 AM Snapchat anyway, and unfortunately for the freshman, it lasts just as long as he does.

But unlike the SWUG, there’s more to the SNAG than male-centric (in)validation.

Guys are one facet of SNAG life, as is white wine, sarcasm, and testing boundaries.

The SNAG begins her day with Bloomberg TV, The New York Times, and Gawker… obviously. Her interests include apathy, apartment hunting, online shopping, and happy hour. The SNAG loves spending time with her fellow SNAGs. She has found valuable and fulfilling friendships amongst her peers. With them, she enjoys Breakfast at Tiffany’s and lunch at Fred’s. The SNAG does her homework when she deems it interesting. And when it’s not, you can find her bronzing on the Steps, brunching at Community, and being a bad ass betch. Do not expect the SNAG to stay put for long as she is eccentric, with a proclivity for impromptu trips and bursts of spontaneity.

As for finding a husband while still in school… has Patterson recently visited an Ivy League campus and interacted with the “men” here? The SNAG enjoys mutual respect and mature company. The SNAG does not allow herself to be treated poorly. Unfortunately, that’s all most guys her age know how to do. From ignoring her in public to parading around with downgrades, the modern day university man is more of a caricature than a thoughtful suitor. The SNAG wishes this weren’t true, but she has been disappointed far too many times. She doesn’t think she’s inherently better than the freshmen or the boys, she just knows better.

The SNAG sets her own standards. For some, hooking up may not happen until she’s in a committed relationship. For others, it may happen within 30 seconds of a drunken bar interaction or a Heights margarita. Regardless, she decides who and what she wants, and she gets “it” on her terms, when she wants. She doesn’t allow anyone to decide this for her, especially not a college boy who openly describes her female peers as having been through the “meat grinder.” She’ll politely decline; her Louboutins only take her as far as Meatpacking.

While there may be a liter of Yellowtail in the fridge, everything about her demeanor implies top shelf. She regularly wears Greek letters, but the only one of true import is “Alpha.”

***

She met the Columbia 3L on a rooftop during a Bacchanal after party, where he bored her with stories of his alma mater in New Haven until she sent him to fetch more beers. He returned with a penchant for conversation.

“So at Yale, a lot of the girls would call themselves SWUGs. Have you heard of that?”
“Yes. I’m a SNAG though.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I definitely agree.”

***

Even if she goes out every day that ends in “y,” you can rest assured that after a few drops of Visine and an Oren’s soy latte, she’ll be bright-eyed and sharp-tongued in your morning seminar. She’ll openly correct your interpretation of trickle-down economics and destroy your half-ass argument, making you turn as bright as the pastel polo you’re attempting to pull off in Hamilton. Leave the lettered pinnie in the brownstone; you know that you’re not even close to getting any playing time. She’s interested in neither you, your Eskimo bros, or the less-than-thrilling games you want to play.

The SNAG acts as if she sits on an Iron Throne, even when her castle is 209. Her domain is Morningside, her ale of choice a Lionshead draft from Mel’s. She can seamlessly weave 2Chainz and Dostoevsky into a conversation, making you walk away thinking “she’s diffrent.” And that’s because she is. Not everyone can be a SNAG, and for that she thanks the SWUGs. Those who know, know.

SNAG is not merely an acronym; it’s a lifestyle. It is a self-awareness that comes with growing up, recognizing your worth, and making sure the people in your life deserve to be there in the first place. SNAGs don’t need to rely on a faulty confidence contingent on their male peers, because they have learned to rely on themselves and those they respect and care for. #SNAGsNotSWUGs.

See you at Senior Night.

Young SNAG via Shutterstock

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109 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Oh god that was fucking painful.

    • Anonymous  

      A few comments:

      1. This is why people hate greek life. This right here. It's this pointless bravado and persistent "whoo-ness" that makes me and a good percentage of the Columbia community groan when we hear about it, despite knowing and liking the actual individuals we know who are involved. Just calm down.

      2. This is why people hate women. I'm sorry, but your constant declarations of sexual liberation do not make you smart or sexy, they make you seem immature, dramatic, and insecure. Go forth and fuck, by all means, but insulting the amount of time a guy can "last" is just so cliche (it also tells me that the guys you've been with aren't particularly creative).

      3. It's Susan Patton, not Patterson, who wrote the Princeton letter.

      • Anonymous  

        4. This is why people hate Bwog. You guys probably wrote this yourself...

        • AnonyMOUSE haha get it

          This is why people hate people who hate Bwog.

          • Anonymous

            Dear "SNAG,"

            Being the "NA" part of anything (Senior Girl or otherwise) dictates that you don't need validation. If you are writing an extensive narrative in which you use the third person to self-aggrandizingly enumerate all the original and clichéd ways in which you are "NA," you probably don't qualify.

            Best,
            SOTDBWGTTASHCAITABUCMAEWOBTBTWCADTBWG
            (Senior Over This Dumbass Bullshit Where Girls Think They Are Showing How Cool and Indifferent They Are by Using Cultural Memes As Evidence Which Only Became That Because They Were Cool and Desirable To Begin With Girl)

      • snagsnotswugs  

        troll so hard these betches wanna fine me, that shit cray!

  2. CC '14 future SNAG

    To the girl who wrote this: THANK YOU! I'll be a SNAG next year and I'll be DAMN PROUD of it.

  3. I agree

    Posting this letter was the most courageous thing Bwog has ever done. Well done to the excellent journalists at Bwog!!!

  4. MalBicho

    Please stop writing.

  5. Fem Fat  

    FUCK SWUG. I'M FEM FABULOUS

  6. GS  

    ...What?
    I don't think I've ever read a BWOG post that made me feel this out of touch with the "youts" at CC. I'm so confused about what just happened.

  7. Instigator

    So basically what you're saying is that Barnard, the 3-2 program, SEAS, GS, the school of continuing education and CC are all the same in every way and all can say they go to Columbia.

    Oh and your point about Columbia=Princeton= Cornell=Rutgers=NYU makes perfect sense.

    Thumbs up if you agree!

    • CC'14

      WTF?

      CC, SEAS (including 3+2), GS students ARE Columbia undergraduates. They are obviously different and distinctive from each other, but yes, they all go to Columbia.

      Barnard College is affiliated with Columbia (and there's nothing wrong with that) , and the School of Continuing Education is not even an undergraduate college (it is mainly responsible for auditing programs for the elderly and applied master's degree programs in professional fields).

      And finally, the consensus here at Columbia seems to be:
      1. Columbia/Princeton
      2. Cornell
      3. NYU
      4. Rutgers

  8. SWUGsucks  

    Number of Delta Sigs brought to justice: 69

  9. I LOVE THIS  

    honestly this is the perfect response to the SWUG craze. being a senior woman who doesn't care about the dating scene is just one example of the general attitude SNAGs embody. the difference between SNAG and SWUG is that a SNAG has earned her right to not care about the delta sig guy and stay home with her friends because she's figured out her community and feels comfortable with the life she's cultivated over 3 years here. Being a SNAG is about feeling secure about yourself and your friends and therefore not needing to wear the skin tight dress to every frat party to prove yourself. this was an awesome piece about what it is to be an attractive intelligent columbia woman who doesn't worry about the college scene shit because it no longer matters to those who matter to her.

  10. strngndindependant

    ~~~~~LiEK dIs if U a StrOng Nd IndapeNdAnT WoMan nd dun'T neeD nO MaN~~~~~

  11. seas girl '13  

    Constant state of SNAG. Welcome to the club, bitches.

  12. CC-Alum

    Then one day the SNAG wakes up in the real world and realizes that being a Sex and the City Ke$ha bitch might not the best idea.

    • ugh you don't get it  

      being a SNAG is not the same as being a 40 year old unmarried woman still sleeping her way towards love. it's about being a combination of jaded and confident that leaves you able to enjoy your real friends at home and then go out on the weekends and not worry about whether or not sleeping with someone too soon or waiting too long will affect how he feels about you, because you respect yourself enough to do exactly what you want. and if this involves caring about someone, you care about them. if it means acting on your impulses, you act on them. but it mainly means never doing something, or refraining from doing something because your trying to do what you think you're supposed to do to gain approval.

  13. Evry day im snaggin

    This article was the hotness. Loved it. girl u are empowering me! and lol at ignoring boys after u lead dem on, i do that sh1t 2! hehehe! thx!

  14. anonnso  

    keep your day job, tdha

  15. wow  

    If you don't know why this is actually the worst, you need to re-examine what Columbia has taught you.

  16. The Dark Hand

    lol you mean trolling?

  17. Anonymous  

    no. no one cares.

  18. Independent lady

    Hey everyone, if you don't see how wonderful and brave this piece is, then you really just don't understand anything. I broke down in tears after reading this, the emotional impact was so strong. This is not about materialism or apathy, it is about reclaiming our equality. If we want to lead men on and then drop them for our own amusement, we should be able to do that! If we want to say that men, as a sex, are dumber than we are, then we should be allowed to do that too! If we want to mock men by criticizing their sexual performance, why should we not be allowed to do so? These are basic freedoms that we deserve every bit as much as you do.

    THANK YOU to the incredibly courageous person who wrote this and showed everyone at Columbia how things ought to be.

  19. Pizza Grammar  

    It's just Koronet.

  20. CC '13  

    Love the idea of the SNAG, but this article is too messily written to do it proper justice.

  21. Open Letter to "Feminist" Gender Supremacists  

    BWOG and Columbia: thanks for continuing to unabashedly glorify man-hatred under the pretenses of touting women's rights. Just think for one second how pathetic and despicable the article would read if the genders were reversed - I imagine the smuggest liberals of Morningside Height's would already be in cardiac arrest.

    The opprobrium you have wrought in me through the hypocrisy of modern "feminism" has come to a boil. The writer's unapologetic smugness, entitlement and egotistical bile makes it impossible for me to contain my hatred any longer. She exemplifies the type of person I hate - it is as if one were to combine the essence of cat shit, 9/11, the Disney Channel and a Tina Fey / Hitler Siamese Twin.

    Yes, for four years, I have inured your shame tactics. I have been told to feel ashamed by women I have never met just for my maleness. With few exceptions, I have been forced - with no outlet - to endure your sexism. This article is the final straw. Although the end result of my indictment is particularly lengthy, I mean each and every word.

    From this article, it is clearer than ever that the goals of the feminist movement are not to achieve gender equality but to belittle men and assert female dominance ("Alpha"). In fact, there are so many examples of self-entitlement in the article it is only by walking through every sentence of the article that I can satisfactorily parse the truly vomit-inducing, spiteful diatribe she has coughed up. Although it is a particularly painful exercise to wade through the garbage she has snotted onto the page, the palpable and contemptible ignorance of the piece compels me to do so.

    --------------------

    They call it a “darty” (a daytime party), and the one he begged us to come to at his frat last weekend was as laughable as the thought of being washed up at 21.

    [ Why would he ever beg you to come when it is so glaringly obvious your personality as about as appealing as an AIDS auction ]

    The Koronet’s guys know our names. We can shotgun faster than any Delta Sig, and while our skinny jeans aren’t as tight as theirs, they’re harder to get into. Veni, vidi, vici. We came, we pre-gamed, and we hope you didn’t exhaust your right hand playing pong.

    [ If "exhausting your right hand" is a sexual reference, then it is apparent you derive your power through sexually frustrating men. This implies you view yourself in exactly the OPPOSITE way that feminism claims to champion - women as non-sexual objects. But clearly, in with-holding the one asset you prize yourself on, you achieve dominance. That shows you feel you have nothing else of merit to contribute ]

    SWUG? No. We’re the girls who rejected you before your interviewers did. We don’t Lean In—we sit at the head of the table.

    [ So clearly, feminism is no longer about achieving equality. It's about achieving dominance. I'm reading your sexism loud and clear. Yet, you're excused for your blatant misandry because BWOG and all you fuckers view this mentality as "forward-thinking." It's no better than justification for enslaving black people on the grounds that they are "sub-human" and less-deserving. ]

    The embrace of #swuglife is as amusing as the source of its etymological origin. Of course, one should expect nothing less from girls who choose to spend their weekends kissing frogs at Toad’s. Partaking in SWUGhood must feel like plunging into the excrement of Dante’s third circle.

    [ So engaging in pleasurable behavior between two consenting parties is plugging into the excrement of Dante's third circle? Right… In shaming sex, you are only sabotaging what could be a win-win situation. Perhaps, this is why you feel so unfulfilled emotionally. ]

    Enter the SNAG. Senior Not Amused Girl.

    [ Because the only way to command respect is to treat others apathetically! Sounds like you should repeat Kindergarten as you seemed to have missed that lecture on the golden rule ]

    Who is the SNAG? She’s the girl who promised she would never go on another date with a college boy, but now finds herself entertaining texts from the senior she’ll unavoidably reject. She thinks this is funny.

    [ So it's COMPLETELY FINE, even LAUGHABLE for you to act like a jerk to men but not vice-versa? That logic is about as sound-proof as a woman who whines that her neighbors are stealing vegetables from her garden but brags about the livestock she has pilfered from the same neighbors. ]

    Sure, she danced on the bar in his frat’s basement, while watching him slip his hand under that freshman’s BCBG bandage skirt. He sent her a 3 AM Snapchat anyway, and unfortunately for the freshman, it lasts just as long as he does.

    [ NICE! Let's sexually shame men while we're at it! Because this is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than saying "her tits are too small" or "she's so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing." No, it's perfectly fine to objectify and belittle men and not vice-versa. Fuck you.]

    But unlike the SWUG, there’s more to the SNAG than male-centric (in)validation.

    Guys are one facet of SNAG life, as is white wine, sarcasm, and testing boundaries.

    [ Testing boundaries… as if playing with the emotions of your supposed "oppressors" makes them the cruel ones? And wow, your apathy and sarcasm makes you sound so cool! ]

    The SNAG begins her day with Bloomberg TV, The New York Times, and Gawker… obviously.

    [ Gawker. Thanks for lending credence to your already sound-proof platform of heralded sexism ]

    Her interests include apathy, apartment hunting, online shopping, and happy hour. The SNAG loves spending time with her fellow SNAGs. She has found valuable and fulfilling friendships amongst her peers. With them, she enjoys Breakfast at Tiffany’s and lunch at Fred’s. The SNAG does her homework when she deems it interesting. And when it’s not, you can find her bronzing on the Steps, brunching at Community, and being a bad ass betch.
    Do not expect the SNAG to stay put for long as she is eccentric, with a proclivity for impromptu trips and bursts of spontaneity.

    [ Misery loves company and her echo chamber affirms her pathetic belief system. Apparently, this chick believes she is the most interesting girl in the world, when the lack of evidence of anything redeeming about her character points the contrary. This is like a 75 pound, 11 year old girl who truly believes she could thrash Joe Foreman in the ring, even though refuses to put that theory to the test, or has every fought in her life. But her sense of entitlement allows her to impute all the glory to her name, despite never having earned a shred of honor. To make matters worse, this particular passage is rife with hipster nonsense" ]

    As for finding a husband while still in school… has Patterson recently visited an Ivy League campus and interacted with the “men” here?

    [ A better question would be have you even interacted with the MEN here? Because it sure sounds like you haven't, otherwise you wouldn't be making such an ill-informed blanket statement. Again, this prompts another "fuck you" for your blind, hypocritical presumptuousness.]

    The SNAG enjoys mutual respect and mature company. The SNAG does not allow herself to be treated poorly. Unfortunately, that’s all most guys her age know how to do.

    [ All guys her age. Right. Honey, there's a reason why you're clearly so bitter. It's that you're the problem and not the men. There are plenty of happy couples on this campus who stand in stark contrast to your self-pitying, defeatist hyper-generalizations ]

    From ignoring her in public to parading around with downgrades,

    [ Your superiority complex is worthy of praise from even the likes of Kim Jung Il. Again, why is it that you think you deserve someone that isn't the same caliber of dogshit mixed with anal warts as you are? Believing the world owes you something without grounds for the belief. That is entitlement. You are everything that is wrong with the world. ]

    the modern day university man is more of a caricature than a thoughtful suitor. The SNAG wishes this weren’t true, but she has been disappointed far too many times. She doesn’t think she’s inherently better than the freshmen or the boys, she just knows better.

    [ No, I'm fairly sure you DO think your better. You just spent the last four paragraphs ranting on and on about why you're so great and men are so unworthy ]

    The SNAG sets her own standards. For some, hooking up may not happen until she’s in a committed relationship. For others, it may happen within 30 seconds of a drunken bar interaction or a Heights margarita. Regardless, she decides who and what she wants, and she gets “it” on her terms, when she wants. She doesn’t allow anyone to decide this for her, especially not a college boy who openly describes her female peers as having been through the “meat grinder.” She’ll politely decline; her Louboutins only take her as far as Meatpacking.

    While there may be a liter of Yellowtail in the fridge, everything about her demeanor implies top shelf. She regularly wears Greek letters, but the only one of true import is “Alpha.”

    [ Alpha. We get it. Why do you continually need to keep reminding us that you think highly of yourself?? Could it be, dare say, that you only do so as you are insecure of your own self-image? No, couldn't be. The need to continually reaffirm yourself is not like the fucking epitome of insecurity, is it?? ]

    ***

    She met the Columbia 3L on a rooftop during a Bacchanal after party, where he bored her with stories of his alma mater in New Haven until she sent him to fetch more beers. He returned with a penchant for conversation.

    [ He probably left to get more beers because the only way to tolerate her lack of conversation is to imbibe. That way, he can pretend she's interesting even if she clearly does not contribute anything of value to the conversation. Or contribute anything of value, ever. I cannot wait until this girl turns thirty and she wakes up desperate and alone. Looks fade, and in its place, misery and mid-life crisis shall set in. ]

    “So at Yale, a lot of the girls would call themselves SWUGs. Have you heard of that?”
    “Yes. I’m a SNAG though.”
    “I don’t know what that means, but I definitely agree.”

    [ By SNAG, he suspects she means Shallow Nasty Arrogant Girl ]

    ***

    Even if she goes out every day that ends in “y,”

    [ Nice attempt at humor. I'd give it a 2/10 ]

    you can rest assured that after a few drops of Visine and an Oren’s soy latte,

    [ Oh, Oren's soy latte. You must be the spitting image of interesting, sophisticated and worldy. I bet you have so many important gender studies lectures to attend. ]

    she’ll be bright-eyed and sharp-tongued in your morning seminar. She’ll openly correct your interpretation of trickle-down economics and destroy your half-ass argument, making you turn as bright as the pastel polo you’re attempting to pull off in Hamilton.

    [ Just because you'll make minimum wage and live with a roommate in a roach-infested flat in Brooklyn until some sorry sucker decides to take you under his wing since your gender studies degree your dad paid for turned out to be a bad investment, doesn't mean that you can belittle the productive class of society. You exemplify why there is an income inequality in the first place. For some reason, you don't realize the irony of texting your fellow SLUGs about your occupy bullshit on the iPhone you bedazzled with fake rhinestones. Perhaps, one day you'd realize you'd be living in a stone hut if it weren't for the hard-working peers your so keen on discrediting. Yes, you say you're a fan of economic equality, but everyone is better off with the inventions from the productive class, like the polio vaccine. No one is better off with your interpretative dance lessons to underprivileged kids in Africa. Read a fucking economics book before you again assert your uninformed, entitled views in stark contrast to any evidence to confirm your theories. Noticing a trend here in your thinking]

    Leave the lettered pinnie in the brownstone; you know that you’re not even close to getting any playing time. She’s interested in neither you, your Eskimo bros, or the less-than-thrilling games you want to play.

    [ Again, you act as if you're the prize. As if he's clearly vying for your attention. Even in the face of a complete lack of evidence to support your theory. Perhaps, you've misinterpreted the stink eye as a come-on? ]

    The SNAG acts as if she sits on an Iron Throne, even when her castle is 209. Her domain is Morningside, her ale of choice a Lionshead draft from Mel’s.
    [ Lionshead beer! You must be so different and interesting! More feeble attempts to hide behind a hipster front due to a lack of anything of value that you can contribute.. ]

    She can seamlessly weave 2Chainz and Dostoevsky into a conversation, making you walk away thinking “she’s diffrent.” And that’s because she is. Not everyone can be a SNAG, and for that she thanks the SWUGs. Those who know, know.

    [ You clearly know - eternal source of wisdom. You're prudence is about as useful as a tarot card reader to a bomb defuser. You may think you have some sort of mystical powers, but you should probably leave the real work to those who do and not speak. ]

    SNAG is not merely an acronym; it’s a lifestyle. It is a self-awareness that comes with growing up, recognizing your worth, and making sure the people in your life deserve to be there in the first place.

    [ Deserve to be in your life? Nobody deserves the torture that is your company ]

    SNAGs don’t need to rely on a faulty confidence contingent on their male peers, because they have learned to rely on themselves and those they respect and care for. #SNAGsNotSWUGs.

    See you at Senior Night.

    [ I'll see you at senior citizen's night, too. You'll be the old bag of skin, slowly dying alone in the corner of the room, watching re-runs of girls. You'll have no grand-children, husband or family to visit you - for all your highfalutin, it is unfortunate that everyone realized you were a bag of hot air, and like the hindenberg, bound to sink into oblivion. The worst part of it all will be even till your last dying day, as your final breath flees from your cracked, unkissed-lips, you'll still believe that your alienation was everyone else's fault but your own. ]

    -----

    Closing comments:

    Perhaps, the reason why you are incapable of having a meaningful relationship is because you give no one - even yourself - a chance. You alone are at fault for your own shortcomings. In freely stereotyping men a priori, you are akin to the hunter who shoots a deer, and leaves the carcass to waste because the last deer meat she ate was rotten. Now both parties are left unsatisfied because of your obstinance.

    You also seem to be far too cocksure that only women can be oppressed. But statistics point to the contrary. In fact, in America, more men than women are raped annually, by virtue of prison rape. And 1/6 men are sexually abused. Yet where are the "I am a woman and I… [sexually abuse men]" propaganda posters all over campus. Kinda like the ones you "feminists" force us to read.

    Here are some more issues confronting men which feminism seems so keen on glossing over:

    List of ways women oppress men:

    1. Men are significantly more likely to be the victims of violent crime (of which rape is included) than women.

    2. Despite domestic violence being equally committed by women, for the most part only male perpetrators are arrested:

    3. The feminist definition of domestic violence has skewed arrest and prosecution philosophies, resulting in having mostly male batterers criminally pursued, and female batterers left alone.

    4. It is legal to circumcise male babies against their will. In some places, laws have been passed which forbid any attempts to make male circumcision illegal. Meanwhile, female circumcision is completely illegal, even though some types of female circumcision are equivalent in harm to male circumcision, and other types (a symbolic prick to draw blood) are non-harmful.

    5. Men comprise 95% of workplace deaths.

    6. Men commit suicide at over triple the rate that women do.

    7. The vast majority of prisoners are men.

    8. Men are doing worse in all aspects of the educational system, from kindergarten to university.

    9. Men who are falsely accused of rape can have their names published and their lives ruined even if they are not convicted or charged - their accuser is protected and is likely to face no punishment, or a light one.

    10. Reproductive rights. Men have none.

    11. Parental rights. Men have virtually none. See below.

    A woman can name any man she likes as the father, he gets a letter in the mail, if he does not prove he isn't the father within 30 days—(suppose the letter gets lost by the USPS?)—he is now the father and must pay. He cannot contest it.

    A boy who is the victim of statutory rape must pay child support to his rapist.

    A man who is raped while unconscious must likewise pay child support.

    A man who fathers a child and wishes to take custody may have his child adopted out against his will and essentially kidnapped

    12. The majority of homeless are men.

    13. Despite men's need being arguably greater than women, government spending to help women is 10 to 100 times greater than that to help men. That figure is unrelated to medical spending.

    14. In 2009/2010 it was $1,516,460 toward men and $57,562,373 toward women. In 2010/2011 it was $3,740,800 toward men and $48,331,443 toward women. In 2008/2009 the province dedicated $561,360 toward men's resources and $98,983,236 toward women's resources. (figures are for British Columbia, Canada, but representative of Western society).

    15. Female-owned businesses get free government money for literally no reason other than being a woman (i.e. all other factors are equal, same size of business, same income, etc. etc. but the owner's gender is different = money or no money.

    16. On some airlines, men were banned from sitting next to kids on airplanes, simply because they were men. Why? Because men are pedophiles, obviously. This ban remains on some airlines, such as Air New Zealand.

    17. Under a recent federal directive, men are convicted of rape in university campuses if the investigating board finds that the chances they committed the rape are at 50.00001% or greater.

    18. The DOE policy in practice: Caleb Warner was accused of rape and expelled from the University of North Dakota, then his accuser was charged with filing a false report. He remains expelled as of June 2011.

    19. Selective service. Enough said.

    • snagsnotswugs  

      U mad bro?

    • snagsnotswugs  

      Minimum wage...OK, I will buy you ten times over, and not with daddy's money but with mine.

      It would bring you to your knees if you knew my post-graduation plans or glanced at my resume, but I'm sure you spend plenty of time on them anyway so I'll grant you reprieve. I know you give us a lot of shit for writing this to insulate our own insecurities but let's be real...no one takes this much time to craft a novel in response to a bwog post unless they are compensating for something...could it be your insecurities...NO...couldn't be.

    • audience member

      oh man, this is gonna be good.

    • Anonymous

      This is why you're supposed to have a prescription for Adderall.

    • Geordi La Forge  

      LET IT BE CLEAR TO OMC PEOPLE, COMMITTEES AND STUDENTS, [email protected] DOES NOT SUPPORT THIS SEXIST COMMENT.

    • lazy college senior

      thank you.

    • anon  

      Tl:DR men have problem too if women would get their head out of their cuch and just pay attention to us

    • Unlearn Your Privilege.

      I want so badly to refrain from saying this, but seriously, are you retarded?

      All of your complaints about how women oppress men are actually results of patriarchy, and not actually the acts of women. It is patriarchy that paints men as holding power, and by the same sword they become the only ones capable of rape; let me reiterate, this is not because women are privileged, but because they are not considered to be fully human that they are in a single instance advantaged.

      If you stop to consider, seeing as men still hold the vast majority of positions of power—political, economic, and otherwise—it is utterly ridiculous to assert that women oppress men. It is not women who dictate the laws of who is considered a parent, nor is it women who dictate who gets government aid. Could you possibly consider that women being provided more aid, in line with the benevolent sexism of "women and children first," might be a very superficial benefit that comes at the expense of being considered autonomous? I don't get welfare and I will open my own doors, I can haz equal pay now?

      Unfortunately, that's not the way it works, because sexism encompasses not only the statistical proof of discrimination, but the more subtle and insidious forms of implicit bias that cloud your judgment and pre-dispose you to hate women, especially, as we can see from your focus on rejection, ones that might reject you.

      Look at how much hatred and misogyny is in your own writing, and realize that it might be you who is exhibiting oppressive behavior, and not this rather innocent article.

      • lazy college senior

        It's almost comical how well "unlearn your privelege" plays into the argument the open letter is making. Men have some social advantages over women? It's men's fault. Women have some advantage over men? Must be men's fault too.

        Attributing every inequity that exists in society to gender is already laughable. Blaming men exclusively crosses from comic absurdity into the exact sort of bigotry, sexism, and misandry that you profess to fight against.

    • WOW

      You are the most ridiculous person. Like the asshole in my cc class said about mary walstone craft, seems like you wish you were getting laid. The 1950s misses you.

    • .......  

      Ain't nobody got time for that.

      Actually though, don't you have anything useful to do with your time?

    • JJ11 4 lyfe  

      GODDAM thats hella words my dude lmao idk i couldnt read em all I had a steak to roast

    • Anonymous  

      Is this the Eye's latest lead?

  22. CC Alumnus

    This is an excellent rebuttal to the SWUG phenomenon, some young women's quasi-ironic response to the perception that they're damaged goods. I'm amused by the negative reactions, especially the "this is why people hate women" comment from the brave anon @ 9:55 pm. Yes, no doubt a great deal of people hate women who are proud of themselves and can hold there own in a world that all but demands their submission to men. Brava to the author and keep it up.

  23. CC Alumnus

    You made a critical error in preparing your analysis: you assumed she was addressing all men, rather than the misogynists who believe a woman's attention and sexuality most properly belong to them. Do yourself a favor (and I mean this earnestly) and reread your post, noting each vocalization of your misogyny (e.g. "old bag of skin," "this chick," "honey") and consider just why it is you feel so threatened by a woman who doesn't think it's incumbent upon her to impress you or serve you.

  24. snagsnotswugs  

    friends, angry foes (especially OLTTFGS), and fellow Columbians lend me your ears:

    Don't hate me cause you ain't me

  25. Arsene Wenger

    I'm just here for the Drama

  26. epic comment  

    does not properly use your/you're

  27. Ivy League bros might not be "men"

    but you fasho aint no woman...

    As with all things in life, Louis C.K. sums up my thoughts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnDH-RXCptY


    SWUG, SNAG, SWAG, SNUGGIE. 22... you are 22, stop acting like spinsters

  28. nobody  

    I think it's indicative of insecurity that this article is being read as an attack instead of a disinterested rejection...

    Independence is what being a SNAG is about, not self-definition through opposition to men: the article fights that mode of defining women, and to reduce it to such is to grossly miss the point and undo the conversational progress it attempts to make (since attacking something is to grant it importance).

    I'm so thankful to finally read an article that interprets feminism as women defining themselves on their own terms, and I'm appalled by all the negative comments trying to cut it down to just another man-hating yet male-centric exposition of feminism. As CC Alumnus at 12:31AM says, "no doubt a great deal of people hate women who are proud of themselves and can hold there own in a world that all but demands their submission to men." So I guess it doesn't come as a surprise.

    Get over yourselves, guys, this is not about you. We have our own agendas, and they come first; there's just no guarantee you're part of them. This isn't an attack, but a statement that your in/validation is not the meaning of female life.
    So, in response to all of the comments along the lines of "this is why people hate women," whatever.

    • phyzix  

      Why does her agendas overwhelmingly deal with putting other people down (including other girls), ridiculing guys, and teasing/leading them on (not really that bad but its never something you should really do unless you like causing other people emotional pain)?

      Her "own terms" are also overwhelmingly based on the terms of others. Not amused, not amused at what? Other people. You don't just become smarter, more eloquent, more knowledgeable, or better at shotgunning beers because of defining yourself. I agree her choice to define herself and be the ultimate boss of her sex life. However, she really seems to be putting down a lot of people at the same time. If her conception of SnagLife involves railing men at columbia as not being good enough for her (she is more than welcome to make that decision, but it seems rather quick to dismiss thousands of men that she probably has not had the time to meet), should we really be looking to this as progress?

      "She doesn’t think she’s inherently better than the freshmen or the boys, she just knows better." Has she honestly done any sort of rigorous testing to make that claim evolve from inherent bias to true knowledge? I can assume not...

      Still she makes some good points that everyone should follow. Define yourself on your own terms, your love life on your own terms, etc.

      But she paints a very elitist picture of her own social group. Leading boys on, making fun of other dejected girls and their love lives, asserting they are smarter. The reason so many are attacking her is not her somewhat universally accepted beliefs on self-identity (most people at columbia would probably agree with them). It's because she just decides to defecate over many distinct, non-homogenous groups, and asks that you look up to her at the same time.

      Being a SNAG seems intrinsically dependent on other people which also seems to defeat the message at the heart of it which is a shame.

      There's nothing wrong with being a SNAG or SWUG, but putting whole swaths of people down is not exactly kosher.



      TL;DR: SNAG = ALPHA is fine, but being alpha doesn't magically make you better than other people (you already worked for that separetely) aka SNAG doesn't have the market on being awesome

      • nobody  

        I actually 100% (well, 95%, see below) agree with you. I'm not a fan of how she goes about implementing her philosophy, and I think she take her involvement on others too far (relying on girlfriends is not all that acceptable either); but I am a fan of the basic message to set your own terms for how you deal with people around you. Nevertheless, attacking her for this is a straw man argument.

        Re: "has she honestly done any sort of rigorous testing (in response to "She doesn’t think she’s inherently better than the freshmen or the boys, she just knows better.") to make that claim evolve from inherent bias to true knowledge? I can assume not..."
        Psychology has. While I generally scoff at disciplines trying to be science, it doesn't take a professional to observe that "boys" don't catch up to girls when it comes to emotional maturity until they're in their mid- to late twenties. Lack of emotional maturity --> treating people poorly.

    • snagsnotswugs  

      It doesn't but it's safe to say we've cornered the market

  29. SNAGHag  

    I LOVED this piece.

  30. cc '13

    i think shit like this is the cause of a lot if not most misogyny.

  31. lol  

    "the source of its etymological origin"

  32. Senior boy  

    i will literally have sex with all of you

  33. CC'13  

    Sp a SNAG is just a SWUG without a sense of humor...?

    I think the author here missed the humor in the "SWUG" title--I don't think any Yale seniors actually think they're "washed up" at 22

  34. anonymous

    As one of many who came before you who helped pave the path, I am dismayed. Live your own life? By all means. Treat others with casual disregard or outright derision? Maybe you can get away with that now, but as soon as you leave school you're in for a rude awakening. Which is good, because you need one very badly.

    • nooooo

      the point isn't that these women feel the need to disregard other people, it's that they're confident enough to not allow themselves to be treated poorly. which stands in contrast to the stereotypical trend among freshman women who are not yet confident enough to realize they don't need to do things they don't want to do to earn a guy's praise

  35. a male  

    "She can seamlessly weave 2Chainz and Dostoevsky into a conversation, making you walk away thinking “she’s diffrent.” And that’s because she is. Not everyone can be a SNAG, and for that she thanks the SWUGs."

    welp that was the last straw. i am gay now.

  36. fed up senior  

    And this article/comment section is why I am so happy to be graduating in a month.

  37. ehi

    This is why I consider myself to be an anti-feminist (and I am a woman)

    Not different. Not intelligent. Not insightful. Just, 100% broad-that-some-sorority-vomited.

  38. Allison

    I pay upwards of $40,000 a year to attend a school that actually is okay featuring a blog affiliated with this Gossip Girl-drama crap? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I BRING THE IVY LEAGUE!! Never change, BWOG, this is why Western society is on the verge of collapse... Thank God this isn't Yale, at least my chances of being assaulted by a feral herd of frat boys is notably reduced.

  39. Senior Girl

    It's strange to come to college and feel WAY more animosity between genders than I ever did in high school. As a senior I feel too old for this. Why can't it be a senior policy for both men and women to stop treating each other like shit and start treating each other like valuable humans? These arguments are so fucking boring and based in fear of people you think might hurt you.

    • nobody  

      Wouldn't that be nice. A little optimistic, methinks.

    • GS  

      "I feel too old for this"

      I would like to refer you to my original comment about being a GS student. In truth, you are all too old for this from the moment you show up, this generation (of which I'm a member, I'm not THAT old) just seems to find some unnerving appeal in continued adolescence.

      To summarize: "Get off my damn lawn, whippersnappers!"

  40. male

    i honestly thought that the majority of women at columbia were independent and intelligent enough to have an innate sense of self-worth and not have to find it after four years of abuse.

    this article makes me sad

  41. Instigator

    The girl in the picture must be from SEAS.

  42. Anonymous  

    Uh, SNUGs sound a lot more appealing than SNAGs... maybe because because bitchiness and self-absorption are not *necessarily* part of the role?

    ALSO, to whoever wrote this. Graduate already ya silly girl! You shouldn't waste valuable teen fiction on school blogs!

  43. anyone wanna guess what sorority she's in

    Because I'm practically positive it's theta.

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