It takes two to copulate

In these times of trial and tribulation, we could all use a little lovin’— and a new service backed by Senior Week hopes to fulfill your long-overdue fantasies of commitment-less sexual encounters via the Internet!

CUScramble allows anyone with a UNI (not just class of 2013!) to submit up to 13 UNIs of Columbians they always wanted to tap but never got the chance to. Ok, fine, you can also ostensibly use it to have an innocent coffee meeting with that person from your CC class whose full opinion on Marx you never got the chance to hear…but let’s be real.

Whether it’s that cutie on the other side of the lecture hall or the best friend you’ve never made a move on, now is your chance to find love in the depth of this darkest night. Here’s how it works: you submit your list of 13 crushes missed acquaintances, and if someone whose UNI you submitted also submits your UNI, your mutual desire will be revealed to the other party. Only mutual submissions are revealed, so your unrequited love will not be awkwardly made public; but that means the service only works if a lot of people submit.

So, go forth and fuck make friends, you frustrated masses!