Sep

24

Every Man For Himself

Written by

Crying into our computer

When Insomnia Cookies was brought to Morningside Heights, many of us saw it as a sign of better times.  No longer would we have to walk out in the cold to Westside for some glorious snacking.  Instead, the cookies would come to us.  Just two days ago, apropos of nothing, we received the following tip:

“These are the best cookies and brownies I have ever tasted and I have lived all over the country and on several college campuses. Mrs. Fields cannot touch these. I wish they had as many Insomnia cookie stores as they do McDonald’s… I would enjoy it a lot more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Tonight, though, disaster struck.  After online orders did not go through, one Bwogger called Insomnia customer service, only to hear the following:

“That location is so swamped with orders that they’ve shut down their ordering services for the night.”

We are on our own, people.  Run for cover.  The night is dark and full of terrors.

Not even close to as good as Insomnia via Shutterstock

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16 Comments

  1. signsoftheapocalypse  

    Our order took two hours to arrive in a correct fashion.. the first time our "order" arrived there were four cookies in a box with a twenty dollar receipt

  2. Levain

    Well worth the trek to Frederick Douglass for some REAL MAN COOKIES.

  3. BWOG COMMENT-TRON v9.0 OPTIMIZED  

    BEEP BOOP
    RED ALERT RED ALERT
    IMMINENT HUMAN COLLAPSE DETECTED
    ACTIVATE GOTTERDAMMERUNG PROTOCOLS

    THE LAMB OPENED THE SEVENTH SEAL, AND THERE WAS SILENCE IN HEAVEN...THEN THE ANGEL TOOK THE CENSER AND FILLED IT WITH FIRE FROM THE ALTAR AND THREW IT ON THE EARTH, AND THERE WERE PEALS OF THUNDER, RUMBLINGS, FLASHES OF LIGHTNING, AND AN EARTHQUAKE.

  4. The Cookie Monster  

    This is not okay

  5. The Cookie Monster  

    This is not ok

  6. :(

    The night gets worse: 1020 has raised the price of rolling rock and yuengling! The days of $3 drafts have ended!

  7. fogie

    OK guys. I will let you finish. But P&W's demise was the real tragedy at that address.

  8. Anonymous

    This is not health food! Eat some kale instead!

  9. It's Monday Night!  

    Why are people going to 1020 and ordering Insomnia Cookies? Has the collective IDGAF level on campus skyrocketed recently, or is it just me?

    Fuck it. 10:42am on a Tuesday? I can't deal with this shit. I'm going to get drunk.

  10. OUtRAgE  

    Look very carefully and you will find the calories for the cookies posted underneath in almost invisible, very dark green. They're clearly trying to hide them!

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