Sep

30

Go to Thy Rest in Peace, And Soft

Written by

Walking home one night, wanting only to lay its weary bones down on its own blue mattress, Bwog espied the spectacle below:

Where your mattress goes to die

Your mattress goes to its eternal rest.

2017! Here’s an easy back-of-the-envelope for you: approximate how many mattresses are in that dumpster. (Hint: they go all the way to the bottom.)

And here is a harder one: given the approximate number of mattresses, estimate how many different bodies have slept at least one night on at least one of them.

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Another back-of-the-envelope: how many bedbugs are in those mattresses?

  2. easy  

    once you calculated the number of beds, just multiply that by infinity

  3. Envelope

    #1: 50
    #2: 50 x 4 year mattress lifespan x ( you+ school-wide avg. 3 annual sexual partners+2 friends who crash+1 non-friend who unfortunately crashes)= 1,400

  4. Anonymous

    Columbia is getting new mattresses!

  5. Anonymous  

    These should have been donated or recycled. I worked at a mattress store in high school. Programs exist so used mattresses collected from homes after delivering can either be (a) if evaluated to be in good enough condition (a.e., not stained, no bedbugs, no odors, not completely broken/gross, etc.), donated to a homeless shelter, a domestic violence shelter, a family in need referred by an agency, or to a warehouse of furniture for new immigrants or (b) sent to a recycling facility so the mattresses could be taken apart for steel, wood, and other materials.

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