Oct

5

PSA: Freshmen Party, Loudly

Written by

it is worthy
it is worthy

The glorious struggle

As midterms doth approach, freshmen are hitting their stride on how-to-party and RAs are getting crankier.  One first-year floor RA emailed his floor, reminding everyone to shut up and get off his damn lawn buckle down on work for the betterment of the community.  The RA starts kindly:

Just a reminder:

  • Marijuana and drug paraphernalia are not permitted anywhere on Columbia’s campus, and especially not in your dorm room.
  • None of you are 21 years old or older. Thus, none of you are legally able to consume, purchase, or keep alcohol.
  • Quiet hours are between 11:00 PM and 8:00 AM on weekdays, and between 1:00 AM and 8:00 AM on weekends.

Bwog was surprised by the drug paraphernalia reference—what about that bong pipe we got under the sign saying “FOR TOBACCO USE ONLY”?—and checked the housing policy.  Indeed, get rid of your gourds and pumpkins:

The possession or use of illicit drugs and related materials is expressly prohibited.  Water pipes, bongs, hookahs, and other paraphernalia commonly associated with drug use are also prohibited in the residence halls.  Further, the possession or use of a legal substance for any purpose other than the legally intended one is prohibited.

Anyways, after the good cop opening, the RA goes in for the kill:

Frankly speaking, I’m well aware of the fact that you are smoking, drinking, and causing general mayhem on this floor. That stops now.

The War on Fun is real, my friends. Are you going to let the man win, or will you stand and fight?

Bwog’s game face via Shutterstock

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26 Comments

  1. The Rogue RA  

    lol whatta noob

  2. alum

    We had an RA like this. He didn't last long!

    Party on freshman!

  3. The Pretty Handsome RA  

    You're a freshman. You don't get to do sex. That's for big boys and girls.

  4. Another Real RA  

    A portion of Residential Programs will never understand that college is about more than studying (and study breaks). Anyone who thinks that late night smoking/drinking isn't beneficial to friendships and one's political views is limiting everything great that college can be about. As RAs, we should foster community, not stamp our foot on every joint we think we smell.
    Advice to the newbie RA (from a returner): Get off their fucking backs!

    • The Rogue RA  

      Hear, hear.

      Whoever this RA is who's probably doing the GHD's bidding, think about if you were the resident (if you're in Carman, God help you because this ain't gonna work). You probably know who's doing it. It is FAAAAAARRRR more effective to target those people or determine exactly who they are. That way you can make POSITIVE change toward community. An indirect, distant email that probs got deleted only can create hostility or fear towards the RA.

      My rule of thumb's just to see if it bothers other residents and to make sure that residents who aren't comfortable know that they have a voice in their community when something is wrong. THEN, it's my job to make sure the community is respecting each other.

      tl;dr Stop making the job harder for us by ruining RAs reputation. There's so much more to this position than simple policing.

    • Arsene Wenger  

      If you're interested in ripping on people you barely know, smoking, drinking and experimenting with PCP, the Butler Smokers Union is now taking applications

  5. The Rogue RA  

    Also, who says "causing mayhem" anymore?

    Who are you? Elmer Fudd?

  6. JJ 7-1  

    I think that there's a difference between telling people not to be obnoxiously obvious/loud and preaching Puritanism straight from the holy book (i.e. the guide to living), which is what my RA did.

    It's the combination of all these things that made this email obnoxious. I personally like quiet hours because I don't like getting woken up at weird hours by assholes. The other stuff, I feel, should be fine by my RA so long as we don't cause trouble and hide it. Like if he's listening at the door to see if we're drinking, that's just fucking creepy, same goes for peeking to see if we've got bongs.

  7. What  

    This isn't a "war on fun", it's more of a stern reminder not to be an idiot when you're having fun. If you're smoking up your entire hallway, drinking with your friends with your door wide open, or throwing a loud party within the thin walls of JJ, you're doing it wrong! May as well just put up a sign on your door saying "please write me up!!"

  8. Anonymous

    This RA is a virgin geed douche. Get bent you socially inept dildo.

  9. OH.HELL.NAH

    Wow... Columbia you never cease to find something to bitch about. Picking on an RA who is doing his job... seriously get the fuck over yourselves. Nobody likes to be the bad guy but honestly some of you need the bad guy because you are honestly just shitty people. Go put on your lame fucking hipster outfits and go party OUTSIDE of the dorms... oh wait you are such immature assholes that you don't get invited to ACTUAL parties. If you think writing up kids for poor attempts at making friends is our life goal, you are delusional. If you can't follow the rules, YOU CAN'T SIT (live) WITH US!

    P.S.
    I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want... But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long training week. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you shut the fuck up now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will document the shit out of you.

    • The Rogue RA  

      Ok, calm down. Yes, we have those skills (some of us, anyway), but def not because of silly training. It's gained on the job when you're trying to figure out how to shut something down or de-escalate a situation.

      If you can convince me that I learned something substantial that week other than how to fill out an e-form, I'll do coke with my residents.

      • OH.HELL.NAH

        where are you an RA? Harmony? Because you obviously aren't a freshman RA which actually requires work/skills. You are the 'RougeRA' so you probably already do coke with your residents while throwing every normal RA doing their job under the bus. Someone who was able to "learn" during training understands how crucial teamwork is to success amongst a staff, area and program. Being that you enjoy ragging on your team, I can't convince your "rouge" ass you learned anything...

  10. Good job Bwog  

    How about you get an upperclassman to write this article next time instead of what sounds like a disgruntled freshman who has gotten written up too many times?
    Great reporting picking apart a simple policy reminder email and making it such a big deal. Maybe if you left your dorm for once, you would find real stories to report on!

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