Oct

22

Party Testimonial: GenderFuck

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great sexpectations
talk about great sexpectations

Thick enough to ride the coaster

Because homecoming and parent’s weekend are really the best time to take off your clothes and grind with your classmates, Bwog brings you another party testimonial: GenderFuck! Want to tell Momma Bwog about your crazy weekend? Email us at [email protected] or use our anonymous tip form.

I learned three things this weekend: Alcohol makes GenderFuck better, I still hate Marlboro Reds, and no amount of vodka will ever make anyone forget the lyrics to “My Humps.”

The night started with a series of snapchatted underwear choices, because crowdsourcing really is the best way to decide which dude’s name should be on my waistband. Shelling out $30 for those Hugo Boss boxer briefs: so worth it.

I started with a couple of hard ciders in my room because #dormdrinking and #don’twanttoremembermyhomework. I ended up in my friend’s EC suite, munching M&Ms (because you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach, kids) and waiting for updates from another friend (let’s call him Allen), who was there early.

Allen: Omg it’s all weird early first years please come and save me.

We find some rum and make drinks–mine was strong enough that I couldn’t even taste the shitty flat Pepsi. At some point around 11:30 we pull up Stevie Nicks videos on YouTube, then Britney Spears, then a dubstep remix of Britney Spears. I was buzzed enough to temporarily forget my workload (necessary) but not enough to enjoy the Red I bummed off a friend. We hit Lerner late enough that they’d run out of wristbands, so a volunteer scribbled some number over 300 on my hand.

I strugglebuseddly unlaced my boots (GenderFuck protip: go for sweatpants and slip-off shoes) long enough to miss “212” but managed to pull my jeans and jacket off and stuff ’em into the Columbia Bookstore bag they offered me (alas, they were out of hangers) before “Till The World Ends” was done (everything. is. britney.).

At some point I stopped dancing long enough to hopefully think: this is what prom should have been like…but then I remembered that the teen pregnancy rate at my high school was bad enough without a clothing-optional dance. The music was a mix of shit I listen to with my Last.Fm scrobbler turned off, Le1f, and some French song DJs turn off halfway through every time they play it–in other words, the music was fucking great.

The ground was littered with giant balloons, which was fantastic because every time my terrible dancing resulted in my feet flying in every direction, I ended up kicking something and looking less pathetic and more spontaneous. But seriously, the balloons were everywhere. Balloon grind chains. Balloon volleyball. Balloon hackey sack.

The best thing about being less than sober was that every time I saw that weird kid from my Lit Hum class who I thought was straight attempting to twerk in his sad tighty whities, I could pretend to moonwalk away and pray I wouldn’t remember it in the morning (clearly, I didn’t drink enough).

Eventually, after a well received finale of pre-Born-This-Way-Gaga, the DJ threw on R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” and the lights (which, frankly, were a little high to begin with) came all the way up. We stumbled back into the lobby, I stumbled back into my boots, got my jeans back on (third try’s the charm!), and emerged singing “We Can’t Stop” (without irony, for once) into the brisk night.

What everyone at Columbia looks like naked via Shutterstock

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14 Comments

  1. anon  

    wow it sounds like you drink, man you must be awesome.

  2. Anonymous

    You got drunk and went to a party!! Congrats!!!

  3. Anonymous  

    Sounds like I missed out

  4. DidntHookUpInThePartySpaceBathroom  

    I swear to god this sounds exactly like the Genderfuck parties we went to freshman and sophomore year.

    And I know that THIS sounds like the kinda shit seniors always say, but it was *literally* the same back then, since all of the songs you refer to came out back then.

    I feel bad for the gays of today.

  5. I don't know why  

    But all of this makes me kind of sad.

    Out of curiosity, how exactly does having people dance in their underwear actually encourage body positivity? If you ask me all it does is reinforce aesthetic norms and heighten the "good body" vs. "bad body" divide. If someone who was covered in disfiguring acne or morbidly obese were to go to one of these things in their skivvies--regardless of how they felt about themselves, because hey girl you rock it-- I can't foresee a "positive" reaction given what I've seen of the bitchy superficial gays at this school,.

    • I don't know why  

      I mean, FFS the Bwog photo is *literally* a shirtless man with a tape measure around his waist. I can't fucking even.

      • Just look

        at the event description: https://www.facebook.com/events/576862669018144/. It's marketed as an underwear party but they say "wear whatever makes you feel sexy." Which includes clothes. several people kept their clothes on and noone gave a fuck. I also saw fat people (which most people would deem "bad body") just let it all hang out, and not give a fuck. It was great. But yeah your point about the Bwog photo is well-taken they could've picked a better one.

    • queer trans girl here

      I'll mark that I'm looking, personally, for support and affirmation for my body from a perspective of gender identity rather than body size, since I'm thin and I do recognize that position and privilege.

      BUT

      when I was at Columbia genderfuck was a space where I could feel good about a body that I otherwise have difficulty looking at and dressing and that often is a huge source of dysphoria for me. Being able to wear whatever I want in a space of people who went out of their way to be affirming of my body and my gender identity was so, so, so important. GenderFuck gave me a chance to reveal and feel great about my body rather than covering it up and feeling ashamed of it.

      Just saying.

  6. I don't know why  

    "If you're not hot you could still show up as some kind of charity case. The fatties still showed up and let their disgusting girth flop all around though; but hey, it was a great time, really one of those batshit Ke$haesque freak shows."

    Somehow I don't feel particularly swayed. Perhaps I'm being a bit less than judicious in my interpretation of your comment, but I'll stick to my previous assessment.

    • yeah  

      that's the most willful misinterpretation of a statement i've seen in a long time. the aim is to create a safe space for whatever way people want to present themselves - i'm not particularly skinny, and i was in my skivvies and didn't feel judged at all.

      like, i literally don't know how you can say that event like this doesn't promote body positivity when the entire point is to wear what you feel comfortable in and you will not be judged. they even have safety monitors around so that you can let someone know if you feel uncomfortable/unsafe due to the way people are looking at or interacting with your body.

  7. fat queer girl here  

    I felt really supported at the dance, and Genderfuck has always been a lovely safe space for me to be supported by my friends in an explicitly queer and trans* space (which is often different than Gay spaces, especially Gay club spaces). We all affirm each other, dance, and have a fantastic time. The photo is a pretty clear misrepresentation of the types of bodies and atmosphere I find at Genderfuck. Everyone has the opportunity to wear what makes them feel sexy (rather than a single ideal of what Is Sexy). The ground rules for the space set it up as a space where consent is mandatory (so I can wear whatever without people feeling like they can touch my body without permission), and bodies/identities like mine are not included as just an afterthought. I looked great, and I sure as hell wasn't anybody's f-ing charity case.

  8. Jeri Henry

    You are not 21, I'm coming for you.

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