Oct

28

A Heinous Halloween Crime Has Been Committed

Written by

Pre-smashing

Pre-smashing

An upstanding tipster has just informed us of a ruthless pumpkin-smashing incident that took place today in the center of our very own campus. In what kind of contemptible society does a kindhearted young man’s attempt at spreading Halloween cheer end in such a heartless act? Read below the harrowing tale.  

Dear Bwog,

I write seeking your help in locating the perpetrator of this terrible crime. On Friday night me and my friends decided to carve some pumpkins. Always seeking a challenge in the pumpkin carving realm, I decided to show some school spirit and attempt a few of Columbia’s more iconic images. The first 4 pictures in this album show the pumpkin in its true form. The carving took over 5 hours and many cuts on my hands.

After having it stink up my room for a day, I decided to share it with the campus. It would also preserve better outside after all. My friend and I placed it on the sundial at approximately 8 pm on Sunday night. It was lit, and glowing well. Multiple students were taking pictures and enjoying it, I was a happy camper. It was not meant to last.

After a short visit to a few freshmen friends in Carmen, my friend and I returned to the sundial less than 45 minutes later, to witness the scene depicted in pictures 5 and 6. A couple by the sundial said they had been there 15 minutes and the pumpkin was already broken. This makes the window of the crime between 8:05 and 8:35 pm on Sunday night.

Angered and emotionally distraught, I typed that letter and printed the pictures, with the hopes that someone may have a clue.

I am utterly baffled that one of my fellow students would be so heartless as to destroy such a spirited decoration.

I hope with the help of the student body, we can get to the bottom of this.

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12 Comments

  1. question  

    Why is it so hard to just LOVE nowadays?

  2. will_mcauliff  

    the world is a vampire..

  3. I'm happy it's gone

    The author of that C+ letter seems like a whiny wimpy wussy. Also, the use of passive voice throughout his sobbings irritated me. Can we get an update on this when he carves a new one? I want to smash that too.

  4. cc14  

    Wow, people are unbelievably mean and ill-hearted. I'm sorry this happened... the pumpkin is beautiful!

  5. Blunts in Butler  

    Can you make a bong out of a pumpkin?

  6. anon  

    wait this is really fucked up

  7. Jeri Henry-OJA

    I was hungry... What can I say?

  8. I feel sorry for the kid  

    but Carmen though?

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