Wrong Deen.

Bwog’s been thinking a lot about deans lately. Walking around campus and looking at signs on doors and titles on emails, we realized that you can’t throw a rock on this campus without hitting a dean. So we sent Senior Staff Writer and Community fanatic Alexander Pines to find out exactly how many deans we have at this fine university. 

According to the university directory, using rigorous investigative methods the “title search” function, we have approximately 253 deans. This number includes every school within the university, including Barnard and the grad schools. The “approximately” is because the search turned up several people whose title is “assistant to Dean” that needed to be subtracted from the total and I don’t count well when I’m tired. It would appear that the Columbia’s policy regarding titles is put a Dean on it. Below is a list of actual titles for administrators from the Directory, with a few thrown in from the Bwog email chain. See if you can spot the fakes and post your own in the comments.

• Assistant Dean of the Post Baccalaureate Premedical Program
• Associate Dean for Curricular Affairs
• Associate Dean for Development
• Assistant Dean and Chief of Staff
• Associate Vice Dean
• Vice Dean for Research
• Vice Dean for Curriculum and Instruction
• Chief Interim Vice Dean
• Associate Dean for Administration
• Executive Assistant to the Deans
• Dean for Humanities
• Director of Special Projects and Dean’s Office Operations
• Senior Vice Dean Emeritus
• Executive Vice Dean
• Executive Vice President for Health and Biomedical Sciences and Dean of the Faculties of Health Sciences and of Medicine
• Senior Dean
• Senior Assistant Dean
• Advising for the Senior Associate Dean
• Assistant Dean and Executive Director
• Associate Vice Dean for Finance/Chief Financial Officer
• Associate Dean of Administration
• Associate Dean of Advancement
• Chief Interim Advising Dean

Columbia’s favorite porn star via Wikimedia Commons.