Dec

14

Sophomore Year Checklist: Shouldn’t You Be Good At This By Now?

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pearls are a classy mistake
pearls are a classy mistake

Nostalgic for the 1.5 years gone by.

Sophomores have a year of college under their collective belts already but that doesn’t mean they are suddenly wise. They just screw up in slightly more sophisticated and shameful ways than freshman year. Maybe it’s a learning experience? Or maybe sophomore year is just a little bit miserable. Bwog is rooting for you.

The Slump

  • Slump
  • Swear you’re going to un-slump
  • Slump more

Panicking about the Future

  • Declare 12 Different Majors
  • End up doing Econ/Poli-sci
  • Think about transferring but now it’s too late
  • Forget to declare at all
  • Meet with your advisor in a panic trying to salvage your college career
  • Realize you haven’t taken any of the prerequisites for the classes you need for your major
  • Type out the classes for the rest of your life, and worry that you won’t be able to graduate.


Acknowledge your Limitations

  • Decide to take 2 classes next semester but actually sign up for just as many as you’re this semester.
  • Decide you can handle a few more clubs and a job and another class.
  • Realize you can’t.
  • Drink even more than freshman year, but with a higher tolerance.
  • Only be able to drink beer because all other alcohol is ruined for you because you threw up after drinking them.
  • Decide that all Columbia nightlife sucks and try to go downtown…realize that sucks, too…spend all future nights rotating around your friends’ rooms and drinking wine.
  • Think you’ve got everything figured out on campus.

Enter the Darkness

  • See someone crying and pat them on the back, because that was you last night.
  • Eat a bowl of shredded cheese and call it dinner.
  • Accidentally stop eating for a week when you get too busy to buy groceries.
  • Actually enter the stacks. Understand why people go there to hook up because damn, all that knowledge is pretty sexy.
  • See something in the stacks that makes you vow never to study in Butler again.
  • Spend lots of time on facebook looking at how much better your friends’ lives are than your own

Sophomores slump classily via ShutterStock

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2 Comments

  1. also  

    REALIZE YOU WILL NEVER BE BEYONCE

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