Dec

15

Actual Wisdom: Bruce Robbins

Written by

Bruce Robbins

Bruce Robbins

For today’s Actual Wisdom, we have Bruce Robbins, of previous and expansive Bwog fame. You know it’s a good sign when they already have a Bwog tag to their name.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer:

Justify my existence? Can’t be done. When people all around me are getting stonewalled or downsized, why should I have it so easy?

Claim to fame (what makes you special?):

I wrote an essay that gets read in University Writing. I also play a mean game of ping pong for someone who never learned the backhand smash.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience?

Ping pong on acid. Followed by scrambled eggs at 6 am with my French teacher.

Back in my day… (what has changed at Columbia?):

ROTC has returned. (How could we?) I wish I had taken the Core. Also, that I had a chance to help re-write it.

What’s the craziest excuse/extension story you’ve heard?

Dog fell through the ice on the swimming pool and I had to rush him to the hospital.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

Sorry to disappoint: I can live without oral sex.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  • not to argue against the return of ROTC, at least not on camera, and not at SIPA.
  • Uptown and downtown are two different countries—9/11 didn’t really happen up here.
  • one of the most exquisite pleasures known to the human race is making real contact in a seminar

What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race?

Thomas Pynchon: “Keep cool but care.”

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7 Comments

  1. Theory Hater  

    Oh bruce. Your theory class challenged me more than any other English class I have taken. It built me up, tore me down, and made me 100% sure than it's all complete and utter bullshit.

    Analytic philosophy 4 lyfe.

  2. Anonymous  

    beautiful man beautiful soul

  3. curious

    Hi Bwog, in all these installments of Actual Wisdom, can you list what they teach/their department?

    • Alexander Pines  (Bwog Staff)  

      Good suggestion, thanks. For reference on Bruce, he's in English and Comparative Lit. Next semester he's teaching Comparative Modern Fiction, which is an amazing course.

  4. wow

    new life goal = play ping pong with bruce robbins on acid

  5. The 9/11 comment

    WOW! What a cock. This is the kind of ivory tower thinking that makes Columbia students so unlikeable post-graduation.

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