Jan

5

Semester In Review: The Tamed Shrew

Written by

just like all of you
just like all of you

Cute little guy

A new year, a new perspective. Today we take a moment to look back on the first half of the year and think on what’s to come. 

If last fall was about exploring how we talk, this past semester was about putting our learned lessons to use. With no massive scandal or campus-wide debate abyss, we found that the topics that typically brought tons of vitriol, blurring the line of acceptability per our comment policy, instead passed by with relative silence. We figured there were three possible reasons for this:

  1. All the trolls graduated in 2013.
  2. Everybody stopped reading Bwog.
  3. We actually learned from past mistakes.

To any of these cases, we say good riddance. Rather than sling poop at each other like we used to, we’ve learned how to have reasoned arguments (with the exception of the 4:33 paper response, which we assume was caused in part by finals-induced stress). This culminated in the (mostly) thoughtful discussions found here, where each argument had a considerate counter-argument seemingly written after 10 seconds of deep breathing.

All of this progress did not come without mildly frightening repercussions. Rather than acting like student groups, student groups began acting like administrators and businesses. Activist groups acted for change by writing petitions and making Facebook events to get their friends to sign it online. When mistakes were made, involved groups issued official statements. We weren’t innocent in taking to considered words (or lack thereof) on things we want to see improved—but then again, we’re a website.

As we become increasingly sensitive and PC-oriented as a nation, Columbia has become more careful as an insular community. We’ve been tamed. We can only imagine what our 1968 alums think about us now. Would it be weird to say we miss the excitement of unfiltered reactions?

Luckily (?) that’s not for us to officially worry about anymore. We’re proud to announce that Bwog has been taken over by one of the finest editorial teams we’ve seen yet. Quick-witted and animalloving Sarah Faith Thompson is our new Editor-in-Chief; clever and adventurous Claire Friedman is Managing Editor; the brilliant Alexander Pines takes on Features Editor; and humorous and attentive Maud Rozee, reppin’ Barnard and Canada, rounds out the team as Internal Editor. We’re pumped to see what they have to bring and know that we’re leaving you in more-than-capable hands.

In the words of our predecessors, “it was…fun…”

Alexandra Svokos

Alexandra Avvocato

The Semester in (kinda) Brief:

The semester started with some promise of excitement: in early August, ZBT lost their house. It was finally confirmed that their initial problems began with hazing. Things would only get worse for ZBT—in November they lost their national charter and the chapter went inactive. At the end of the semester, it came out that SAE lost their provisional recognition and argued that it was unfair.

NSOP happened, as it is wont to, though not without grumblings from Barnard and a shitty party. The freshmen continued to be loud and annoying into October.

It was a bad semester to be on the streets. The 116th and Amsterdam halal cart man was attacked in September. Later, SIPA Professor Prabhjot Singh was the victim of a hate crime, but handled it gracefully.

The Columbia online world saw questionable improvements, including a sometimes-working Wait List. Then Spec bought [email protected] and plastered it with Strokos ads.

Barnard made a guest policy change which either promoted promiscuity or celibacy, depending on which kind of feminism you wanted to argue about. Meanwhile, commuters and non-dormers got fucked over without notice. CCSC and ESC kind of fixed it? CCSC and ESC did score us back the B-School library.

AND THEN KANYE WEST SHOWED UP.

We waxed poetic on squirrels. At least we didn’t burn all those mickey-mouse bullshit clubs. Though we also waxed poetic on Uni Cafe, so really who knows where our head’s at? Well, we have some theories.

USenate did some shady stuff. After getting called out, they backtracked. A bunch of candidates debated and campaigned, with Marc Heinrich taking the win. During the campaign, the Vagina Monologues decided to have an all women of color cast and you freaked out. Especially those who it affected most like Jake Goldwasser, a Jewish self-identified male.

Bwog stopped using the f-word. In nicer news, the men’s cross-country team were the Ivy League Champions. The crew team took on Movember. But you heartily voted fencing the best PE class.

The CU Dems asked for transparency on sexual assault, which was later addressed by the NYPost. The USenate candidates asked for transparency on anything. We asked for transparency on wellness.

Applicants got some luck this year as the Common App continued to mess up, pushing back deadlines. That didn’t stop them from being any less naive. But don’t worry, we let them know what it’s really like here. Meanwhile, Barnard’s polisci department decided theses are so passe.

You fucking assholes. And while we’re speaking about different kinds of holes

The Varsity Show announced their creative team, which looks an awful lot like other V-Show c-teams. The V-Show announced their cast, which looks awfully pale. Speaking of racially charged predicaments, some Lambda brothers allegedly used the n-word at SDT’s GREEK BΣΔΤS. Lambda and Onyx issued statements. And another year passed without anyone noting how inappropriate the title of that event is. In more discussion on political correctness, SGA reminded you of the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Frankly we liked Dean Awn’s and our own commentary better.

A search began for the new Dean of Student Affairs that’ll cost us at least $75k. Surprisingly, interim Dean Martinez announced she didn’t want the job and Foner announced he was over teaching.

CUMB didn’t like getting made fun of. Spec didn’t like getting made fun of. We’re not really sure about what happened at the Tree Lighting Ceremony.

Who knows what happened to ‘Bo before he got tempered here and started blabbering on about globalization? We looked back at PrezBo’s UMich days as well as Columbia’s days of yore.

CU Admirers made a brief return, just in time for some StacksSex and CryptSex. Luckily, Columbia women are at least competent and apparently Barnard girls’ feet are alarmingly appealing. Meanwhile, we diagnosed your relationships after we apparently became your go-to source for relationship advice. And GS got a long-overdue erection. We stole that joke from Orgo Night, who did their best with the resources available to them.

One student had more balls than any of you, causing you all to scream. For the record, Dean Martinez thought it was hilarious. Perhaps you should take some light-hearted advice from midyear graduates and/or professors.

While we kept track of the bar scenes, it was Butler that got raided. This seemed unusual until it was revealed that a man was posing as a CC alum and CLS student.

We’re halfway through the year, folks, have fortitude and make sure you finish out your checklist.

Shakespeare allusion via Shutterstock

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3 Comments

  1. LOVE YOU GUYS

    SO MUCH AND WILL MISS YOU

  2. I'm confused

    I feel like I was patted on the back for playing nicely with others (thanks mom...) but then was questioned for being too PC??

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