Feb

12

Personals: Emily, Jake, and NoCo

Written by

Nah.
"well, it's me deep down"

Emily Injeian

Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Emily Injeian (the greatest roommate ever), Jake Gange, and Noco. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’ve gotten enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.

Name, Year, School, Major: Emily Injeian, 2016, CC, English

Preference (guy for guy, etc): girl for guy

Hometown: Bowling Green, KY

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: We both die.

What redeems you as a human being? Well, I don’t buy original sin, so.

Library room of choice: Butler 409

Beverage of choice: Water

Guilty pleasure song: “Gay Schoolgirl” by Won Ton Death

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Who wants to know?

Historical Hottie: Chaucer

 

real jake is much less terrifying, we promise

Jake Gagne

Name, Year, School, Major: Jake Gagne, CC ’16, Art History

Preference (guy for guy, etc): dude for dude (MASC ONLY)

Hometown: Weatogue, CT

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Emily Injeian dies.

What redeems you as a human being? This is such a stupid question.

Library room of choice: Avery

Beverage of choice: taro bubble tea with Southern Comfort

Guilty pleasure song: Silence

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Lerner party space

Historical Hottie: Chris Pine

 

dude bro

NoCo

Name, Year, School, Major: Northwest Corner Building (no one building should have all this power), Majoring in Chemistry and Econ

Preference:  Glass seeking same.

Hometown: W. 120th and Broadway, NY

Nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “I love looking at the night sky!”

What redeems you as a human being building: I’m modern, brah. Clean lines for days, smooth glass, the works. Everyone wants to cozy up to my cold, hard steel (if ya know what I mean). #killin’it

Library room of choice: The Science and Engineering Library, without a doubt.

Beverage of choice: Natty Light

Guilty pleasure song: Clarity (Zedd feat. Foxes)

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Partyin’ it up with Pupin and Chandler. Drunkenly texting the Diana to come over from across the street. She never does.

Historical Hottie: Marie Curie. So radioactive.

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10 Comments

  1. Disappointed  

    I had no idea NoCo was such a douchebag.

  2. um...  

    when did these turn into a complete joke? i thought there were at least semi-serious...

    • meh  

      these people gave pretty much the same unfunny and try-hard answers as everyone else... it's just that once there aren't pictures you can't make superficial judgments about their appearances. ha.

  3. submitted my personal days ago  

    Why do you keep posting buildings instead of beautiful available people?
    ~feeling conflicted~

  4. what a joke  

    another building, and a picture of hair?

    come on bwog (the first building was funny, i'll give you that). and unless Emily doesn't have a face, you need to actually request for a proper picture.


    next time i'm submitting a personal for my armpit hair.

  5. Butler 409?  

    A woman after my own heart.

  6. noco  

    clearly does not drink natty light

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