You’re too much of a coward to admit that you’ve never had a jug of milk poured on your head.

Bwog Does Oui’d

  • Celebrated 4/20 by napping for 4 hours of weed induced sleep
  • Took a big gravity bong hit right at 4:20
  • Ate an edible a half hour before going to their Grandma’s house for Easter dinner
  • Was in their Grandma’s house trying not to pee themselves from laughing
  • Took edibles with their friends and immediately went to a Q House party. Ended up in a hallway staring at a wall for upwards of 2 min not realizing people could see them. Looked absurd
  • Thought they were trapped in JJ’s because they couldn’t stand up
  • Smoked without coughing for once

Bwog Just Does, Like, Wild Shit In General

  • Did NOT get laid
  • Infiltrated the 2023 group chat
  • Got a jug of milk poured over their head
  • Literally fell asleep at 1020 for the first time
  • Called their parents
  • Didn’t skip their birth control (yeah!)
  • Started the weekend on a Wednesday night
  • Drank so much wine at Passover with Abby’s family that they were preemptively hungover on the subway back
  • Ran into two people they’ve hooked up with at a party. Didn’t realize they knew each other
  • Cried at the Leonard Cohen exhibit at the Jewish Museum
  • Watched the Zizek/Peterson debate and almost cried from laughter
  • Woke up Saturday morning alone, completely naked, on top of their two vibrators, and with a lot of questions
  • Applied for many a job in a fit of absolute panic yeehaw
  • Fucked in a Carman bathroom

Bwog Gets Wholesome

  • Took an hour long nap in the sun and got a tan
  • Really started to realize how thankful they are for their friends
  • Really started to appreciate the omelette station at Ferris Booth Commons of Alfred Lerner Hall. Holy fuck
  • Got very invested in a movie because the main character’s father figure had the same name as (and a similar accent to) their dad. Talk about projecting!!
  • Went on a romantic walk through the park
  • Attended three lectures just for fun! (Just kidding, it was just for sweet sweet participation points)
  • Went downtown three days in a row, which always feels like an accomplishment
  • Ate the best goddamn duck meatballs i’ve ever tasted in celebration of Ghosty Jesus Day
  • Took themselves out on a wholesome lunch date and ate the most delicious goat cheese/mango/avocado salad
  • Went on a cute actual date thing with a boy

JJ’s Express via LibreShot.