Former Bwog Editor Asya Sagnak asks the questions we all want the answers to: why is PrezBo’s weather machine only used for Days on Campus and who really runs Spec?

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Asya Sagnak, Barnard College, Political Science, Istanbul, Turkey

Claim to fame: Maybe you know me from my involvement with the King’s Crown Shakespeare Troupe, where I have been haunting this campus with free quality classical theatre since 2015. Maybe you know me because I am well-dressed and gay, in which case, thank you. Maybe you know me because your freshman year roommate followed me on Twitter, in which case, I am sorry.

Where are you going? This is mean! It’s none of your business!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2023?

  1. Tell people about your interests—academic, cultural, emotional, gardening, knitting, etc. Trust them to care (it’s cool to care!), and listen to them when they reciprocate. If you’re around people who treat your interests as if they were chores, find other people to be around.
  2. Try to strike a balance between prioritizing the city and the campus community. Hit up Bacchanal at 1pm, the Met at 5pm, and the opera at 8pm. This is impossible to do physically, but very possible spiritually.
  3. Find a place you like, populate it with people you like, and make it yours. I know in my heart that the second floor of Diana is my ancestral homeland! Nothing can convince me otherwise!

“Back in my day…” RIP Hewitt late night >:(

Favorite Columbia controversy? PrezBo’s weather machine—how come he uses it for Days On Campus but doesn’t let us borrow it for the KCST Spring Show? Do they spray paint the grass? If not, why does it look like that? Is Spec run by adult businessmen? Is the statue of Athena still cursed from that one time I received a mysterious necklace in the mail and ceremoniously put it around her neck? Where did that one girl’s Mario Badescu face wash go?

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I Love To Wear Cool Pantsuits Like Cate Blanchett And Harry Styles

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Tragic Bodies, taught by Nancy Worman. Once you take this class you won’t be able to finish a sentence without using the word “abjection,” which rocks.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I DON’T WANT TO ANSWER THIS (CHEESE)

Whom would you like to thank? My friends, Quad desk attendants, Mark and Diana at International Students Services. My sister. My Shakespeare troupe. Hewitt dorm bathrooms, for keeping me on my toes. Diana white pizza.

One thing to do before graduating: There are many secret roofs and balconies on this campus, and if you aren’t sneaking on to them at sunset and blasting Dusty Springfield, you are NOT doing drag.

Any regrets? For sure. But the point of doing college is learning enough about yourself that you realize how you should have done college. So like, I don’t really have advice for you, but I am here to tell you that it’ll be okay regardless.