Ah yes, summer. Who needs an exclusive membership to a UES hot yoga studio when you have an all-access pass to New York’s (actual) hottest club – the Wretched Land of No God, Dante’s 0th circle, otherwise known as the boiling pits of an underground MTA subway station on a 85-degree sunny day?

Like a rusty subway car (so old you just KNOW it lacks the AC you crave) rattling its way towards you down the track, the 2019-20 school year comes creeping as we hit July, the mid-way point of the summer. To stave off our despair and commemorate all the fun, sweaty summer days we’ve had so far, here’s a look back on what happened in MoHi this June.

News:

Some Pics:

Field Notes:

  • Held human lungs in my hand (then chopped ’em, ground ’em, and filtered out the mucus). One came to our lab in a takeout container
  • Went on a yacht in Greece and felt like a bad bitch
  • Got a new black poodle puppy and named it Mango
  • Conned my intern friend into giving me rides to work every day
  • Got hit by a car (x2)
  • Got hit by a bike
  • Got hit in the face by a bumblebee
  • Got hit in the head with a shovel by my brother and had to go to the ER
  • Got drunk and shattered a 55 year old brandy designed by Salvador Dalí while trying to lower it from the cabinet
  • Spent too many nights at Phebes :(
  • Went to Pride for 15 mins and then left because it was too hot!! (missed all the celebs and took a nap on a sad air mattress at my friend’s apartment)
  • Procrastinated on my medical school applications. Currently dying (at time of publication)
  • Got way too drunk at happy hour. took a “brief” nap when i got home and woke up at 5am
  • Moved twice in the same building (i hate barnard res life)
  • Met up with Barnumbia friends in Seoul
  • Went to Trader Joe’s like 50 times
  • Fostered 5 week old kittens!!
  • Booked with the hometown high school gang<3
  • Went to go visit my friend in NYC and I threw up in her bathtub from really shit sangria I made in a plastic mixing bowl.
  • Had someone steal my wallet (with both my fakes inside 🙃) and commit credit card fraud with my stuff during said housing disaster
  • Went to Firefly music festival in Dover and got so high and paranoid that I thought I pissed myself in public.
  • Saw the National (i.e., the band whose unofficial logo i have inked on my arm) perform for the first time and wrapped the lead singer in a bear hug when he made his way through the crowd
  • Went back home w/ my girlfriend for a weekend and met her parents without dying
  • Slowed down for a little bit to tend to my health and learned how to feel a little less guilty about doing just that in the process :))
  • Somehow dating 5+ people
  • Got really into running/biking, so much so that I biked from Battery Parm and back on the fourth of July
  • Some random dude on the train started sketching me— I am at least four cup sizes bigger in the picture
  • Got cut off by my parents to so I could “learn the value of the £$” and cried for four hours straight
  • Met some beautiful human beings in Greece
  • Tanned in Central Park on a sunny 85-degree day for 4 hrs until I had a headache. Walked around Plaza Food Hall dazed and hungry afterward
  • Had so many boozy picnics in Central Park!
  • Been cooking lunch for work at least 3/5 days! Very adult
  • Visited high school English teacher and aspired to get a dog just like hers (wiener dog and black Dane mix)
  • Moved into my new apartment and caught two of my best friends hooking up on the couch during housewarming
  • Heard “I love you” from my father for the first time
  • Watched my sisters graduate high school and was stunned by the linear passage of time
  • Went to a club for the first time (x2)
  • Also got a job at a pho restaurant which is the best because free pho
  • Started my language scholarship program!
  • Bought a Chinese SIM card and applied for a Chinese bank account.