Any costume is sexy on YOUR sexy body. But, if you were hankering for a hot Barnumbia-related costume for Halloween, you came to the right place.

Happy midterms CU! We have an incredible schedule that lets midterms span (almost) the whole month of October, but (!) Halloween should mark the end of this treacherous time for many of us. If it doesn’t, at least it’s a welcome respite of partying, dressing up, and candy. Generally speaking, though, CU is brain-dead. (At least, I feel that way. I’m getting deliriously tired at 4 pm these days.) And, if you’re just as drained as I am, you might not have the perfect Columbia-related costume prepared for Sunday. (This is a little bit of a lie. I am going to see Harry Styles on Sunday night, which I bought tickets for almost 2 years ago. I have a costume for that. But, I don’t have a costume for all the parties I haven’t been invited to yet.)

Anyway. If you want some school-related, easy costume ideas to use this Halloweekend, come and take a deep dive into the dark places my Scorpio brain goes on Halloween.

Sexy Roar-ee and Millie

Now, this is for all you classic Barnumbia couples. Look at that sexy motherfucker. He’s a tiny-waisted, big-armed joy to look at. All you have to do is wear some Columbia basketball gear and get a lion wig. Easy peasy, Halloween-y. Now, imagine him paired with a Millie. Isn’t it even better? Most of the time, Millie does a classic Barnard tee with no pants, but going pantless is entirely unnecessary for this costume. I’d say: go with a leotard and tights or furry pants (with bear ears — who knows where you find those — if you can), so you don’t look like you’re on your way to Convocation. This costume is nowhere near limited to relationships that cross Broadway — any Roar-lie shipper is welcome to this idea.

A Barnard main character (add ears, if necessary)

Do you know that Barnard-ian who gracefully clomps around in 5-inch tall platform shoes, tights, a mini skirt, and a big sweater or way-too-cool thrifted top? Do you know how wonderfully confident she is? Be that for Halloween. If that’s not your normal style, of course. Here’s a group costume idea from this: the Barnard stereotypes. A girl boss, a woman in STEM (yes, of course, there’s a difference between a girl boss and a woman in STEM), a soft-pop indie girl, a sustainable-hoe. Celebrate how utterly the same we Barnard baddies can be sometimes. (Someone once told me, “Uniqueness is a facade.” Clearly, that hit home for me.)

An iconic CU alum

(There’s group costume potential here, everyone). We all know the iconic graduates (or drop-outs) of Columbia: Martha Stewart, Timothée Chalamet, Greta Gerwig, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Alexander Hamilton. Now, Halloween-ify them.

For Martha: a pastel-colored women’s button-up, capri-length khakis or white culottes, probably boat shoes (or some other kind of low-topped Karen’s shoe), a little blonde wig, a martini, and a cookbook. Done.

For Jakey: either a Brokeback Mountain (blue jeans, a white tank, blue chambray button-down, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, a belt with a big-ass buckle, and an old brown jacket) or Mysterio costume paired with Taylor’s stolen scarf (which should be red, for obvious reasons) and a maple latte.

For Tim-ster: go full-out and do the Call-me-by-your-name-and-then-I’ll-cum-into-a-peach costume (blue t-shirt, blue jeans, peach) or the Glossier hoodie ‘fit.

For the ever-so-wonderful Greta: go full Frances Ha, then add a video camera and a director’s hat/clapboard. To capture Frances Ha, I’d say your best bet is the floral dress over jeans, Converse, giant backpack, and big leather jacket combo. If it were me, I would even go print out the movie poster. (Yes, it would be in black and white, duh, because the movie is in black and white and also because it’s so difficult to find a Columbia printer that does color.)

Lastly, for Hammy: you’d really have to do Hamilton here. (Yes, the musical.) Do a founding father’s costume, add a Columbia hat and something that says the Reynolds’s Pamphlet, and you’re golden.

A classic statue

Alma Mater, with the backdrop of Low, is unequivocally the most iconic visual of Columbia ever. So, you icon, you, be her. Here’s what you’d need to pull off Alma: some kind of Grecian-looking robe situation, a leafy headdress, a large open book, and a scepter. (I do not pretend to know the significance of nor the proper names for any of the objects Alma is adorned with.) You could even pose with our “milk mother” for your Halloween Insta post. (See! I’m giving you costumes and good content. Stick with me, friend.)

Similarly, you could be the Barnard Greek Games Woman. We’ve all seen her in her green glory, haven’t we? (She’s the big green woman next to the “Stupid people shouldn’t breed” bench, if you haven’t.) This is another iconic woman statue of CU. For this gal, do a robe or white shift dress, kick off those shoes, and wield a torch. You might have to run all night, but at least you’ll have a great costume.

Something from LitHum (or literally any other -Hum)

I go to Barnard. So, I know next-to-nothing about CC’s core, but I do know you all read/see the same things. What if Don Quixote was a Halloween costume? What about…The Iliad? IDK. Your CC crowns will know what to do. My expertise on this ends here. (Sorry.)

Circle, message: Though I love Halloween (I’m a Scorpio,) that’s about all my midterm-ridden brain can churn out right now. Hope everyone has a #HotBarnumbiaHalloween! Spooky emoji. #HalloweenMeansMidtermsAreOver #FallBreakMoreLikeYallGreat. Send.

(Yes, mindlessly watching The Circle is getting me through midterms. Yes, I text my friends like this. #CircleFam.)

pumpkin! via Bwarchives

Roaree via Bwarchives