These Hewitt eggs are suspiciously yellow: pineapple for reference

Sure, this post could be avoided in its entirety if Newsletter Editor Eva Sher had the patience to wait in line for an omelette a.k.a. the superior version of eggs. But she doesn’t. The scrambled eggs are already done, and it is a miracle that she went to the dining hall in the first place. Let her know if you agree with her very profound thoughts on this very important issue by emailing tips@bwog.com

1. John Jay: In my opinion, John Jay would win the Dining Hall Wars hands down. This includes their scrambled eggs. As in all of the dining halls, the scrambled eggs are admittedly not amazing, but they are definitely the best you can find on campus. They can be crumbly and dry but just add some ketchup and try to ignore it. My tip here is to mix the Farmer Fresh Scrambled Eggs with the potatoes and whatever random vegetable they have that day.

2. Diana: Diana breakfast is not usually my favorite BUT their eggs are really fresh. If you’re nice enough, they meet even cook a single scrambled egg just for you. My tip for Diana is to splurge a little and get an avocado to pair with your egg.

3. Hewitt: If anything, Hewitt is consistent. They have those suspiciously bright yellow eggs every day, and they’re fine. That is all.

4. Ferris: Ferris eggs worry me. As opposed to John Jay’s dry eggs, Ferris eggs are wet and slippery. Are they fully cooked? Why is there so much liquid? Whenever I eat Ferris eggs, I feel mildly ill for a few hours afterwards. My Ferris egg tip is to add the salsa and cheese they have near the soup on top of the eggs. I’m not entirely sure if that is the reasons these toppings are there, but I do it anyways.

picture via Eva’s breakfast on Tuesday