This article serves as a how-to guide for making friends with (or being blacklisted by) your classmates!

We’ve all been there before: dozing off in the middle of a lecture, you catch a glimpse of the person sitting next to you and think, “Damn, they seem so cool!” or “Wow, finally there’s someone else here who looks equally as bored and confused as me.” 

Whether you’re trying to pursue a friend crush or find a new person to play iMessage games with during class, you’ll need to use one of these icebreakers to strike up a conversation that could result in a class-long friendship. These icebreakers have a 100% success rate (I have never used any of these in real life).

  1. To a business major: who do you plan to vote for in the 2024 election?

This question I am SURE this will summon a super interesting and well-thought-out response. I imagine the Wall Street wannabes have some very based and progressive stances on issues related to the dismantling of the top 0.1 percent. Or perhaps you’ll be roped into hearing your business major friend’s passionately spoken love letter to Tucker Carlson and his burning desire to [REDACTED] with him. 

  1. To a Comp Sci major: thoughts on showering?

To be frank, this isn’t really a conversation starter but more so a test to see if they are worthy of being your desk neighbor for the semester.

  1. To a SEAS student: so what exactly is the job of an engineer?

I am sure this is will be less of a conversation and more of a one-hour-long jargon-y lecture that doesn’t reach any conclusive answer on the work of an engineer—but their attempt to do so will be extremely entertaining to watch!

  1. To an Econ major: why can’t we just print more money?

This is a great way to gain a study buddy. They’ll think you’re so stupid for asking that question and tutor you in the subject out of pity/the prospect of being able to mansplain economic theories.

  1. To a Poli Sci major: do you think Barnard is really a part of Columbia University? I promise I won’t take offense to your answer—I’m not like the other girls!!

No explanation necessary.

  1. To a film major: how would you rank every movie in the Twilight Series from best to worst?

A *real* film bro would contend that Breaking Dawn: Part 1 is by FAR the best one in the series. 

  1. To a cis male Biology major: do you think Rosalind Franklin actually revealed the double helix of DNA? Or do you think she was just lying for clout? Whatever you tell me will not leave the two of us *wink wink*.

I think this question is a good way to ease a male biology major into revealing his misogyny. If he ends up validating the accomplishments of Rosalind, then congrats, you found a new feminist friend! If not, then you can blackmail him if you are competing with him for a research internship.

Images via Wikimedia Commons