Lauren and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

Recommended pre-reading: My Totally Terrible Time Post-Spring Break At Barnumbia by Lauren Woodroffe.

As you may know, the one and only Lauren Woodroffe has become a bit of a celebrity presence at this fine institution. Ms. Woodroffe has been slightly through the wringer these past few days, and she recounted her very Barnumbia-related experience. However, if this is going to go on the historical record one day, we need more primary sources. Thus, I present to you: Lauren’s Totally Terrible Time Post-Spring Break At Barnumbia (Tal’s Version).

Monday afternoon, I find myself strolling outside of Butler, heading to meet my dear friend for dinner. All of a sudden, I hear “TAL!” and see Lauren’s famous orange pants cutting through the gloomy afternoon. But, something’s wrong; she seems hazy, a little bit dazed. We continue walking past each other.

Later that night, Lauren does not show up to the Bwog meeting. She texts me. She’s. Concussed.

“LAUREN!” I text. “Are you okay?!?!” Famously, she’s not.

We show up to our Athena Fellow Friday marathon day together, and she seems to be doing a bit better? She slept through a meeting, though, which is probably the first time Ms. Woodroffe has ever missed a meeting in her entire lifetime. Sweetheart!!!! It crushes her soul, crushes her mind. However, she still slays. She eats up her presentation.

It doesn’t stop there. Saturday night, I’m scrolling through my phone. BAM. Lauren. In a hospital-looking place. On her Instagram story. She has glass in her foot. And is still working on an essay?

Sunday night, I see her at Bwog. She launches into a monologue about her week for her Barnumbia-related article pitch. What I heard and saw was only the surface. She was basically put through a washing machine, turned inside out, and then someone opened the door and threw in some glass, keeping the load going. Sweet sweet reader, you must know that you never truly know everything happening in our dear friends’ lives. Give them love. So much love.

Anyways. The universe has not been on Lauren’s side these days. Please say a prayer or poem for her.

Lauren Woodroffe, I love you.

Lauren via Lauren