The Best (Worst) Tweets From Columbia Athletics
Written by Ross Chapman
One should always exercise some wariness when approaching the Twitter of an institution, particularly a sports-related one—after all, who knows what lurks underneath those repeated mannequin challenges, hyper-edited photos, and “The Brotherhood” utterances of the various CU Athletics Twitter accounts? Bwog Senior Staff Writer Ross Chapman gives us a glimpse into the cringeworthy cyberlife of CU Athletics.
Mundane Pictures on Weird Backgrounds
— Columbia Basketball (@CULionsMBB) December 4, 2016
Last I checked, Columbia has nothing to do with lightning. Don’t tell that to the graphics designer for the basketball team, because he is all over that lightning background. Look at it very roughly align with the contour of Davis’s body! This is not the only photo with a nonsensical electric backing. But don’t think that Athletics has some special affinity for thunder. For instance, look at this football player kneeling in a stadium (not ours) in front of a pair of celestial Lions. For those of you looking for an older gentleman, consider this basketball coach in a vague action pose in front of New York City!
— Columbia Football (@ColumbiaLionsFB) October 24, 2016
The football team has a way with words. Whether they’re commanding us to protect “The Brotherhood” or trying to define mental toughness, white words on a blue background speak like few other formats can. The team has long tried to convince its potential new members that adversity is a sign of strength. They also have a tendency to draw on quotes from entirely different contexts – for instance, the Chicago Cubs and the Broadway stage.
The Mannequin Challenge
— CU_Softball (@CULionsSoftball) November 11, 2016
For most people, the Mannequin Challenge is an opportunity to pretend that you’re able to stand still for more than ten seconds at a time. For athletes, though, it can become more of an opportunity to just show that you’re strong. Alternatively, you can do the challenge once to hop on the fad, and then do it again a week later and hope everyone forgot.
Timeout Columbia pic.twitter.com/qTwyXFLKMx
— Columbia Football (@ColumbiaLionsFB) October 22, 2016
What does this have to do with anything? Who knows! Maybe someone on the social media team misclicked from their reaction GIF folder, which contains several true gems. The team also has a number of graphics that relate to individual players and moments of a game, and they make it look like fireworks are coming out of their heads.
And one more for the road…
— Columbia Football (@ColumbiaLionsFB) September 12, 2016
Behold, a map of our wonderful United States. Brightly displayed is that capital of our fair nation, New York City. Bordered by the island nation of Nike, the U.S. is comprised of 49 states. The most recent addition to the country came in 1985, when Ronald Reagan colonized Australia and dragged it towards our end of the Pacific Ocean. The map above depicts the votes cast in the 2006 national midterm election, in which the Lion party carried over 400 congresspeople.
Tags: "We are always up for a challenge!", cu athletics twitter accounts as absurdism, i feel like cu athletics twitter accounts have an obligation to be like this, LION, remember when bwog did the mannequin challenge in butler 209, that girl is a real crowd pleaser