Choose Your Own Drunk Adventure: Homecoming Edition
Written by Victoria Arancio
It’s the day that we all seemed to forgot but are now excited for: Homecoming! Columbia Football being undefeated is like watching a total solar eclipse: a short-lived rarity that encourages a massive lack of productivity, costing students and the university thousands. But let’s face it: Columbia’s Homecoming is well deserved time to go to parties and relax with friends. If you’re even feeling some ~school spirit~ and you’re not in CUMB, you might actually go to the game. Either way, if you’re doing homecoming right, you won’t be sober.
Welcome to your Columbia Homecoming adventure! Click on the images to see if you’ll make it through the day in one piece!
It’s the night before homecoming. Do you:
A. Eat lots of carbs and prepare for the next day.
B. Decide to go out! You know you like to have a good time on the weekends, but since midterms are coming up, you need to unwind. Friday is a gift that would be wasted otherwise.
You and your friends are looking to start the day off right. Do you:
You hear that they are giving out free beer and other cool stuff at the game. Do you:
A. Decide to go! When else would you go to Baker anyway? Besides, it will be entertaining to see how Columbia bribes students to show school spirit anyway.
B. Sitting on a bus for 20 minutes is not worth anything that they are willing to give us for free. Nice try Columbia, nice try.
It’s around 2pm, and you and your friends are looking for a party to go to. You check out frat row and realize that frat bros are already screaming, “Get off the fucking stoop!” Do you:
A. Contact your resourceful friend who always know what’s happening on the weekends and look for a different party. Waiting on the sidewalk to get into a party should be reserved for late Friday nights, when no one can see your desperation.
B. Try your luck and try to squeeze your way through to the party. No one’s gonna stop you from having a good time.
After going to a couple of parties, you walk through campus and accidentally find yourself in the middle of a campus tour. Everyone is staring at you. Do you:
A. Replace the tour guide and give those students the best tour that you could ever give.
B. Act calm. Just say something that gives prospective students false hope, like, “Columbia isn’t that hard,” and get the fuck out of there.
You hear that the football team won the game! The parties that night are going to be pretty lit. Do you:
A. Pass out, because win or lose, you had a good time celebrating the day. The actual outcome of the game did not matter in any way.
B. After day drinking, one more party won’t hurt! You had a great day, one more EC or frat party is definitely a good idea.
Image via Flickr
Tags: gonna get drunk for my bday weekend!!!, homecoming 2017, i feel kinda guilty for not going to the game when football is doing so well?, i really hope football wins but i feel like they'll lose, im gonna need a new liver after this weekend, keep shakin