So possibly cream cheese with the *vegan* cheese?

You asked, and we delivered: up next on our first day of senior wisdoms is the wonder Poke-Master Karim Nader, who tells us about Metaphysics and his EC PJ party plans.  

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Karim (Cream Cheese without the Cheese), Columbia College, Philosophy with a concentration in Math, from Beirut, Lebanon.

Claim to fame: That guy who decides how much money your group is getting, Carman mom, wrote for Spec, might have asked you about your sex life if you’ve gotten an HIV test at Health Services.

Where are you going? I’m working as a paralegal for a law firm in midtown, moving to a cute Astoria townhouse and living the suburban mom dream in NYC.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Learn to love Columbia: You’re spending the next few years here and it is easy to end up hating your time at Columbia by looking at everything the school does negatively. Focus on the progress the school is doing, find the administrators that want to make this place better, find classes that you will enjoy, activities that you are passionate about. You’re the one who gets to make this experience a positive one.

2) Learn to love your classmates: We are surrounded by so many amazing people and it is intimidating to approach them sometimes. This campus has weird and awkward social rules. Break them. Ask your friend crush out for coffee, talk to the person who is always in the same Butler room than you are, make friends in your classes, on your floor and smile and say hi when you run into people you know! Be proactive when it comes to making friends because friendships don’t happen easily.

3) Learn to love yourself: Don’t forget that you are here for you, above all, to change, learn and grow. Don’t be afraid to change your mind and your attitude. Everyone here is a little stubborn because we’re used to being right. Don’t fall into that trap of spending your four years in college affirming a personality and a set of opinions that you identified with freshman year. And don’t expect people to be the same person during their four years here! Become someone that you love being.

“Back in my day…” Students lived a meme-less existence and kept their crippling anxiety to themselves instead of sharing it with a group of 27,000 strangers on the interweb. And no one knew who Martin Shkreli was.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Gotta catch ’em all

What was your favorite class at Columbia?
I’m allowing myself to put two.
Metaphysics with Achille Varzi: Every lecture will make you realize that things that never seemed like a problem to anyone actually make absolutely no sense at all and are super problematic. Professor Varzi will just fuck with everything you thought you knew.
MusicHum with Edgardo Salinas: Every class will make you realize that all of philosophy, history, and thought until now followed a very specific pattern that makes complete sense. All of life’s secrets seem obvious after taking his class.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?
Cheese because 1) it’d bring me one step closer to becoming vegan and going vegan is great for many reasons and 2) as a gay man oral sex is 80% of my sex life so I need it.

One thing to do before graduating:
A giant sleepover with all my friends in their EC suite. We’ve been thinking about this for the entire semester but it never happened. A middle school sleepover with board games and movies and cute pajamas, pillow fights too!! I can’t wait.

Any regrets?
Studying for and taking my LSATs. Not studying abroad.

We’re gonna miss you via The Man Himself, Karim