Obama understands how awkward you feel.

Is your ability to get internships better than your ability to get a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Did cuffing season come and go, with you still being single?

Did your two best friends start dating, making you an awkward third wheel?

If so, you aren’t alone! Columbia is known for its hookups, and not everyone can be in a secure relationship. While it is important to be supportive of your friends’ relationships, not everyone is prepared to do this, especially if your cuffing season went from a hopeful start to a disgraceful end. To ensure that you’re prepared for your new role, I asked Columbia students for opinions on how to properly third wheel. Here are their responses!

• Be well trained in how to take photos so you can take cute candids of them
• Take advantage of them being distracted with each other and “steal some shit”
• Talk to the person you know least thereby making yourself a fixture in the conversation
• Drag a random chair in Butler over to a two person desk to be with them
• Be happy for the couple!!!
• Always have your phone around so you can scroll through Instagram while they’re making out next to you
• Use the fact that they’re third wheeling you as an excuse for them to do nice things for you
• Be proactive in planning their dates
• Use it as an excuse to spend more time off campus (and escape the Columbia bubble!)
• Stare at them until they feel uncomfortable
• Tweet about their relationship
• Act like a tricycle and not a spare tire
• Stop being friends with them…it’s not worth it
• Pretend the other two aren’t dating
• Just cut your losses and have a threeway

If all else fails…you have a few other options. Why not break them up, so being a third wheel isn’t an option? Or, you can always find a significant other of your own…and make it payback time.

(Quick shoutout to two of my best friends, who inspired this post. If I have to be a third wheel to anyone, I’m glad it’s you.)