Is MM at the Met Gala?

We have just four years to figure a lot of shit out. Being a Barnard student has its ups and downs, but MM has some advice that might just make your time here a whole lot easier. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: MM, Barnard, Neuroscience, Connecticut

Claim to fame: Orchesis, camp kesem, wind ensemble, spec, varsity show, CMTS. Also can be seen lurking creepily in the back of pretty much every random campus event (usually because I’m taking photos of it, but sometimes just lurking)

Where are you going? I’m going to Diana to get a BBQ chicken pizza, where are you going?

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?
Go to stuff! There are so many amazing lectures, concerts, art shows, conferences, dance and theater performances, (even sports I guess??? Lol idk) going on all the time on campus. And most of the time they are free or very cheap! Go support your friends when they put on an event or have a show, it’ll mean a lot to them and you’ll prolly have a fun time too!

OmG guys we all need to get over ourselves and stop talking about how much work we have! Yes, we all have a lot of work. And yes, eventually, all of the work will get done. Why, when someone asks how we are, do we feel the need to respond with something like, “I have a ten page paper due Wednesday and then an exam and a project Thursday and haha haven’t started any of it so I’m heading to Mo Wills to buy 14 coffees and then to Butler for an all nighter! Lol college am I rite!”? Our schoolwork is not our whole existence, and stress should not be the currency with which we qualify to others how we are doing today. It’s perfectly OK to, when someone asks how you are, actually tell them how you are doing on a more emotional level—maybe they’ll be caught off guard at first but then tbh they’ll most likely spill their own feels to you, and wham, you’ll have a real life conversation!

If you need a quiet, clean place to poop, my number one rec is the bathroom on Diana LL2. Nobody’s ever in there and plus those dark blue tiles will make u feel so #relaxed

“Back in my day…” The restaurants in Morningside Heights didn’t resemble those of an airport or mall (@panda dw I still love u boo)

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My last name means “hammer” in Russian, and my full name is MCM, so basically u can just call me MC Hammer.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? My first dance class at Barnard, Modern V: Gallim with Andrea Miller

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I mean, you can’t sprinkle oral sex on your Ferris pasta. Need I say more.

Whom would you like to thank? The Academy. And my parents.

One thing to do before graduating: Go to 1020 trivia night! It’s every Tuesday and sometimes you win free bags of Cheetos!

Any regrets? Ugh I have still never posted a Columbia buy sell meme.

Image via MC Hammer aka MM