Is that sax in tune?

Today’s Senior Wisdom goes to Janel Comeau, the only TC student cool enough to be featured on Bwog. Read on for advice, cryptic warnings, and more.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Janel Comeau, Teachers College, MA in Clinical Psychology (Forensic Concentration), Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Claim to fame: Being the only TC student to venture south of 120th street, playing CUMB’s third least out-of-tune saxophone, saving undergraduates from death by misadventure, writing three Orgo Night punchlines that Breitbart did not find amusing

Where are you going? Back to school for my PhD, the real world will never take me alive

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. During one of my first classes at Columbia, one of my classmates announced to the room at large that he believed psychology was a global conspiracy to prescribe people Ritalin and achieve social control. If a guy who thinks clinical psychology is evil government wizardry can still wind up in a clinical psychology master’s degree at Columbia, you can do pretty much anything. Seriously. You’re going to be fine.

2. Make friends with graduate students. They are much, much better at helping you narrowly escape the clutches of death than an 18-year-old undergrad who crossed the street by themselves for the first time last week.

3. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. One bad test score or failed assignment is not going to keep you from going to graduate school. Your financial situation is what’s going to keep you from going to graduate school.

“Back in my day…” Tom’s only took cash, TC had a woman president and Orgo Night required finding out how many trombones you can smuggle into Butler a single suitcase. Oh, the halcyon days of Fall 2017.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My Tinder dates are so weird that my roommate tracks my phone with a child-tracking app, and I honestly think the stress is the only thing keeping her alive

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Technology, Psychology, and Psychotherapy. Someday soon our phones are going to make us think they care about us, which is the exact midpoint between uplifting and depressing.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? It’s pretty close, but I’d have to say oral sex. It requires slightly more cleanup.

One thing to do before graduating: Find out why there’s no apostrophe in Teachers College

Any regrets? The student loans. Oh god, the student loans.

Photo via Janel Comeau