Happy Valentine’s Day! Here, have some news about sperm, ambulance sirens, and polar bear invasions. You’re welcome.

Happening in the World: Residents of Churchill, Canada calmly share their village with polar bears. One resident simply says, “If it gets me, it gets me” (The Guardian).

Happening in the US: Alireza Abbaspourrad and his team at Cornell University have designed a sperm obstacle course to model how sperm travel through a fallopian tube, and the results are hilarious (The Verge).

Happening in NYC: New York City council members have drafted a bill to lower the volume of sirens in an effort to reduce noise pollution. The bill would give police, fire, ambulance and other emergency vehicles two years to transfer over to a system with a less abrasive two-tone siren, also known as a “Hi Lo” siren. A maximum sound level would also be set (The Wall Street Journal).

Happening on Campus: Jazz up your Valentine’s Day! The CU Swing Dancing Club is taking students down to Yehoodi’s Frim Fram Jam, a Swing Club at 412, 31st street near 8th avenue. Meet them at the main gates on Broadway and 116th at 9:00 PM, or meet them there! Only $7 with a CU/BC ID ($10 without)! ALL SKILL LEVELS ARE WELCOME, and you don’t need to bring a partner! More info here! 

Overheard (by our very own Levi Cohen):

“I have dreams, I have goals and purposes.”
“Totally, like what?”
[extended pause] “I dunno.”
The SAME conversation:
“Hm. Skim milk is over.”
[immediately] “definitely.”

Probably not how you want your Valentine’s day to end via Flickr.