Staff writer and Soup Connoisseur James Perry is here to tell you the best soups on campus.

It’s only going to get colder from here on out, so comfy hot foods are all the rage. What better way to warm up than a nice, hot bowl of soup? Soup is defined as “a liquid dish,” or “a substance or mixture perceived to resemble soup in appearance or consistency.” Without further ado, here are the best soups on campus.

Diana’s Tuscan White Bean Soup:

I didn’t get a spoon to eat this with, so that may have affected my experience, but this soup just tasted weird. Was it beany? Yeah, I guess so. Is it a soup? Sure! If you try this, I would recommend eating with a spoon to get the full experience. Overall rating: 4/10.

Diana’s Tortilla Soup:

This soup went perfectly with the burrito I had for dinner. It tasted kind of like chili, but was distinctly soupy and hot. You can’t go wrong with this soup! Overall rating: 8/10! :) 

Hewitt’s “Loaded” “Baked” “Potato” Soup:

This is a bad excuse for soup, but better than eating boiled potato water. It was in no way loaded, as the name promised, just potato chunks in potato cream. It literally looks like potato chunks in milk. Even if the worst baked potato toppings were added, it would make this soup better. Overall rating: 2/10. :((

The Soup That Comes Out Of The JJ’s Ice Cream Machine Every Other Time I Try To Get Ice Cream Soup:

Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to. This soup is a reminder of that powerful life lesson. The flavor remains, but at what cost? Are our lives destined to be just like this sad, not-icy ice cream? Overall rating: 3/10.

John Jay’s Bean Soup:

I must admit, this “soup” is mostly just beans in broth and wasn’t soupy enough to be a soup. Despite this fact, it looks like a sophisticated dish and it tasted alright! Add more sophistication with bread and butter from the butter bowl. I could possibly have it again. Overall rating: 6/10. 

John Jay’s Asparagus Soup:

This soup was definitely a soup, but it was way too salty!! It was impossible to have any more than three bites of it. It doesn’t look appetizing. In each bite I got small, weird, hard chunks of asparagus that had the texture of twigs. Overall rating: 3/10.

This Soup On The Northwest Corner Of 116 And Broadway Soup:

After passing this soup every time I walk from Barnard to Columbia, I have been tempted to try it. Finally, I caved. I have to admit, this soup was surprising. Although the flavor of garbage was robust and savory, the consistency was way too watery. It was an ok-ish attempt at soup. Overall rating: 5/10.

Last but not least: Peet’s Hot Chocolate Soup:

Is this a soup? I argue YES, and that it’s the BEST ONE. You don’t need a spoon to eat this soup. It’s hot, it’s more soupy than some of the other soups in this post, and it’s tasty!! What more would you want? Overall rating: 11/10!!! Winner!!! :D

SOUP via the SOUP MASTER themself