A day in the life of a sports-playing, beer-drinking, STEM-majoring, Columbia bro.

You wake up at 7 am and hit the gym. You and your fellow bros are in the Dodge weight room getting in some reps on the bench press. Thursday is arm day, so you grab a 20-pounder for some bicep curls. 

Then you head across campus to your favorite dining hall, John Jay, for breakfast. You load up your plate with spongy scrambled eggs. Mmm, straight from the plastic bag. You grab a cup of coffee with dairy creamer on your way out—who would pay for Peet’s or Blue Java when there’s perfectly good coffee at the dining hall?

Some of the guys from the football team have saved you a seat at their table. You have the same 8:40 class, Financial Economics. Even though you’re a stats major, you wanted to take a class with the bros this semester. And since athletes get early registration, you can take any classes you want. 

After Econ, you hit up your favorite study spot: the main reading room in Butler. You grab a quick pic of the chandeliers for your Snap story. Then it’s time to grind. You haven’t cracked open a CC book since Plato’s Republic, so you have some serious SparkNotes-ing to do. 

After the study sesh, you head back to McBain. You scroll on Hinge for a while, but everyone’s profile is boring. There’s no way someone actually likes watching plays or finding vegetarian restaurants around the city… right?

Sig Chi is throwing a rager tonight and you’re going to Mel’s to pregame. You haven’t left MoHi since NSOP—why go downtown when there’s such great nightlife around campus? Plus, you haven’t been to Mel’s since Tuesday and you’ve been really craving their everyday lager. 

It takes you almost 5 whole minutes to choose your outfit, so you’re running late. But once you’ve found the perfect blue t-shirt and khakis, you’re ready to kick it. 

As you’re leaving the elevator, you run into a girl from your FroSci class last year. You ask her how her semester is going. She says it’s good, and that she’s been busy with Bwog. “Bwog?” you say. “Never heard of it.”

College walk via Bwarchives