Making academia sexy again…

A compilation of every Grammys 2022 red carpet look: https://www.vanityfair.com/style/photos/2022/04/grammys-2022-red-carpet-all-the-fashion-outfits-and-looks

Dua Lipa – Math

Look, I know most people don’t consider math to be particularly sexy.  But, for me, a math major is so unattainable that it’s sexy in a “I only want what I can’t have” type of way.  Also, I’m pretty sure that only a math major could have constructed that grid of black straps coating her dress and battlefield of 3D gold around her neck.

Doja Cat – Physics

Physics is sexy for the same reason math is.  Also, I’m pretty sure that Isaac Newton himself did her hair because it is most certainly defying gravity.  

Billie Eilish – Architecture 

Billie’s outfits tend to transform her into some sort of structure.  At the Oscars, for example, she sported a massive black dress that transformed her into Chicago’s Aqua Tower.  This time, it looks as though she split the flatiron building straight down the middle and draped it over her head.   

Justin and Hailey Bieber – History 

I’m fairly certain that these two forgot about the Grammy’s and spent Sunday morning panic-foraging for outfits. Justin found his suit in the back of his older, wiser, and definitely larger grandfather’s closet, while Hailey opted for a more straightforward, “bedsheet” look — the same stuff they wore before clothes were invented.  They may not have made history, but I certainly hope they leave these looks in the past.   

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker – Philosophy

These two make me question the meaning of life. Personally, I think Kourtney looks great — the top is flattering, and the bottom is nice and simple without verging on “bedsheet.”  Travis, on the other hand… I don’t even know what his outfit looks like because every time he enters my field of vision I’m blinded by uncontrollable rage — WHY would Kourtney choose such a spindly man to spend the rest of her life with??  What could have possibly prompted such an unfortunate pairing??  Maybe she can’t see him either.  

Jack Harlow – English 

Simple, elegant, safe.  Nothing is quite wrong, but in a few years he may be sitting behind some desk replacing commas with em dashes and wondering why he didn’t shoot for the stars.   

Olivia Rodrigo – English with a creative writing concentration

Simple, elegant, safe.  Plus some sparkly pink lines.  Are they necessary? No. Are they fun? Yes. 

Lil Nas X – Astronomy

I mean, he’s literally wearing a sparkly spacesuit.  It’s cool, but it’s a spacesuit.  At least he shot for the stars! 

Grammys via flickr